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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Have you ever been influenced to do or not do something because of a “flex post” that you’ve seen on

작성자: 문*현
2023-06-21 2069

회원님의 영작문

I only had an Instagram when attending the university and I quit social media from the unnecessary attention. Initially, I started to use Instagram because I wanted to keep my memory of university life in Japan. Since I decided to leave Japan after graduation, I wanted to keep it as a diary that I can reflect on in the future. Therefore, I left the account private and posted a lot of personal pictures of me with friends and family. However, I learned that there are some friends sharing pictures with others and there are many people saw photos. There was nothing sensitive but I felt intimidated. For instance, there was a time when a stranger approached me and asked how I got an internship after seeing the photo of an employee card from my private account. During that time, I learned that most people are generally interested in others’ life and love talking about them.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Thank you for this Aciel! A stranger approached you and asked about your internship? This is someone you don't know and not familiar with? I would feel confused and scared too if I were you.

I only had an Instagram when attending the university and I quit social media from the unnecessary attention. 
>>> correct  
>>> OR: I only had an Instagram account when attending the university and I quit social media due to the unnecessary attention. 
Initially, I started to use Instagram because I wanted to keep my memory of university life in Japan. 
>>> correct   
Since I decided to leave Japan after graduation, I wanted to keep it as a diary that I can reflect on in the future. 
>>>  correct    
Therefore, I left the account private and posted a lot of personal pictures of me with friends and family. 
>>> correct    
However, I learned that there are some friends sharing pictures with others and there are many people saw photos. 
>>However, I learned that there are some friends sharing pictures with others and there were many people who saw photos.
>>> OR: However, I learned that there are some friends who have been sharing pictures with others and many people have seen the photos.      
There was nothing sensitive but I felt intimidated. 
>>> correct   
For instance, there was a time when a stranger approached me and asked how I got an internship after seeing the photo of an employee card from my private account. 
>>>  correct    
During that time, I learned that most people are generally interested in others’ life and love talking about them.
>>>  correct    
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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04