¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-21 2844

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
I just arrived at home.
As you expected, we had a blast all day.
We went to the amusement park "Lotte world", and took various rides, and saw a beautiful parade.
It's been many years after we went there before.
There were so crowded on last time, but not too many people today.
To save our time, we purchased the special ticket "magic pass" which we could take many rides without waiting.
It was expensive and I was worried if we could use all tickets.
We spent all of those though.
Many rides made us up and down quickly, especially Spanish pirat ship and Gyro drop.
Irene and I really enjoyed many scared attractions.
If you go there, you should take the "Gyro drop".
It just lasts a few seconds, but you can feel the ultimate fear about falling down from the air.
After enjoying there, we came home and celebrated my daughters' birthday with cake.
As for my assignment, a first tardness could be forgiven, I think.
Of course, they should know how much they did wrong.
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

Celebrating your daughters birthday is to look back to the days they were born and remembering each year as a fateful journey as they become older towards their teenage years. I absolutely agree with you. Nothing beats quality time with the kids. As a mother, regardless if it is my  son's birthday, we would wonder in the park together pretending like life has no problems and sorrows playing like we are both children.

It is so delightful to know that you tried most of the rides. The Gyro Drop freaks me out and gives the feeling of leaving your soul out of your body! ^^ You are both so brave. To release all the anxiety, one needs to really shout it out loud to release the tension. Perhaps your little girls and wife would want to be back there again soon.

At last, there is no reason for being late. If all people respect time, they ought to try their best to be on time. It entails discipline and constant practice.

Thank you very much for standing by my comments and suggestion. I had a rough day with my computer and electric power. Nevertheless, I noted just a few grammar pointers for you to study. Generally, you got a big percentage of your sentences correctly, well done!

See you later . 

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

I just arrived at home.
>> Correct!

As you expected, we had a blast all day.
>> Correct!

We went to the amusement park "Lotte world", and took various rides, and saw a beautiful parade.
>> Correct!
Or: Lotte World

It's been many years after we went there before.
>> It's been many years after we went there.

There were so crowded on last time, but not too many people today.
>> It was so crowded last time, but there were not too many people today.

To save our time, we purchased the special ticket "magic pass" which we could take many rides without waiting.
>> Correct!

It was expensive and I was worried if we could use all tickets.
>> Correct!

We spent all of those though.
>> Correct!

Many rides made us up and down quickly, especially Spanish pirat ship and Gyro drop.
>> Many rides made us up and down quickly, especially the Spanish Pirate Ship and Gyro Drop.

Irene and I really enjoyed many scared attractions.
>>  Irene and I really enjoyed many scary attractions.

If you go there, you should take the "Gyro drop".
>> Correct!
Or: If you go there, you should take the "Gyro Drop".

It just lasts a few seconds, but you can feel the ultimate fear about falling down from the air.
>> Correct!

After enjoying there, we came home and celebrated my daughters' birthday with cake.
>> Correct!

As for my assignment, a first tardness could be forgiven, I think.
>> Correct!
Or: tardiness

Of course, they should know how much they did wrong.
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130158 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 2785
130157 What is your best travel tip? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 2843
130156 Do you think there¡¯d be fewer wars if all countries were ruled... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3
130155 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3884
130154 homework 08.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3667
130153 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2626
130152 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130151 Would you rather go to the beach or the pamping? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3082
130150 Why is laughter the best medicine? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3337
130149 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3558
130148 Would you like your name to be put in the Walk of Fame? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2791
130147 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130146 If you\'re talking about rules to follow between love, I think... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2076
130145 The first thing that comes to mind is the illegal discharge of... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3921
130144 News spread quickly, and at the same time, various rumors and... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3192
130143 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2453
130142 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2802
130141 Are there times when jokes are bad and should not be told? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3256
130140 Homework : Which part of your apartment do you not like most? ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3912
130139 What i\'am afraid of È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 4496

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04