¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-22 3460

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
How is your computer now?
Before I moved to our new building, there were many problems about computer and internet at the clinic.
Hence, we determined that we changed our computer and internet to new ones.
And now, we are very satisfied with that.
Computer is not a permenant device, so that we should replace it to new one at least every five years, I think.
I prefer a desktop to a laptop, because we can upgrade each component in a desktop.
Anyway, there was nothing special at the clnic.
Unfortunately, the profit for today was not good.
However, there was a good thing, which we succeeded to start new treatment today.
We can treat many patients with it, and consequently we can get more money.
About my assignment, the leisure time for our age is very important.
At our age, we basically have a depressed mood, because we feel our weakness of physic and limitation of our possibility.
But, we should work for ourselves and families continuously.
So, resting is crucial.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

My computer will get by the assistance of our technician. So far, without our technician, I will never know what to do. I am so grateful for his kindness and helpfulness. Accordingly, the expected average desktop PC to last between three and eight years. Desktops tend to kick on longer than laptops due to the extra space inside the box. Maybe my computer is older than I expected. Nevertheless,  am grateful for the time we spent together with my computer. 

As you have detailed in class today, the new treatment which seems fun to operate can bring you higher profit. This is very good to know. Innovation is often necessary for companies to adapt and overcome the challenges of change. It fosters growth. Your patients and clients alike will always look forward to something new available in your clinic.

I totally agree that rest is an essential component of working well and working smart. Leisure time is crucial to our physical, mental, and emotional health.

As you can see below, you have made a lot of correct sentences. Hence, study the suggestions made in the other sentences to even level up your writing skill set. Great job!

See you next week!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How is your computer now?
>> Correct!

Before I moved to our new building, there were many problems about computer and internet at the clinic.
>> Correct!

Hence, we determined that we changed our computer and internet to new ones.
>> Hence, we determined that we should changed our computer and Internet to new ones.

And now, we are very satisfied with that.
>> Correct!

Computer is not a permenant device, so that we should replace it to new one at least every five years, I think.
>> Correct!

I prefer a desktop to a laptop, because we can upgrade each component in a desktop.
>> Correct!

Anyway, there was nothing special at the clnic.
>> Correct!
Or: clinic

Unfortunately, the profit for today was not good.
>> Correct!

However, there was a good thing, which we succeeded to start new treatment today.
>> However, there was a good thing, in which we succeeded to start a new treatment today.

We can treat many patients with it, and consequently we can get more money.
>> Correct!

About my assignment, the leisure time for our age is very important.
>> Correct!
Or: About my assignment, leisure time for our age is very important.

At our age, we basically have a depressed mood, because we feel our weakness of physic and limitation of our possibility.
>> Correct!
Or: At our age, we basically have a depressed mood, because we feel our weakness of physical and the limitations of other possibilities.

But, we should work for ourselves and families continuously.
>> Correct!

So, resting is crucial.
>> Correct!

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132160 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 4875
132159 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 4513
132158 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 4570
132157 What comes to mind when you hear the word ¡®Disney¡¯? ±Ç*¸ð ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 3501
132156 Doing my homework is very interesting. Á¤*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 5852
132155 digital ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 3529
132154 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 2
132153 What are the reasons why people start smoking? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132152 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132151 2.Nov.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132150 What would happen if all of the world¡¯s computers suddenly... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 7
132149 If you could go back in time, would you choose the same major... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132148 What kinds of preparations do you do whenever the season changes... ÀÌ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 5364
132147 homework_231102 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 1
132146 contribute ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-03 0
132145 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 2760
132144 What is a perfect day for you? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 3186
132143 The things that I have to do ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 3780
132142 What do you want to do today? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 3773
132141 What are some safety measures you take when traveling or... ±Ç*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04