¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-06-29 3398

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hello, T.Donna.
How was your day?
I rode a bicycle with my wife this morning.
And, the computer shop boss came to my house to fix our printer.
He diagnosed that some component of our printer was broken, so he told me that he will visit us again with the new component.
Again, I realized that the machine and gadget never last forever.
As for my itinerary, there seemed to be need to change many schedules.
Although today was my day off, there were many things that I should be concerned about in the clinic.
Hence, I checked the work related chats every 30 minutes.
Fortunately, the profit for today was so good.
The end day of this month is coming soon, so that I have to calculate the staff's salaries and the tax tomorrow.
We don't have enough time especially now, because our vacation will come and it means we can't do any work in that periods.
About my assignment, I just want my daughters to do everything except for watching Youtube during their free time.
How about you?
See you soon.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Dr. KIm!

I enjoyed my time playing soccer with my son and just staying at home working and cooking. It is pretty inactive so today, I decided to go out and walk around. However, before that, I am here checking your essay before I get going.

As my computer was acting up last week, here you are with your printer having some glitch. Changing a broken part is wise than buying the whole thing sometimes. Depending on the broken part and severity of problem, we can decide weather trashing it is better or a good repair can fix the problem.

I am sure that you can find tickets for you and Irene when you get to Singapore. Do not let this issue spoil the fun. Not even the rain can dampen your happiness in Singapore.

Congratulations yet again for a great profit! Dr. MJ is the happiest person when you hit this mark. Meanwhile, pay day is coming. Thus, best of luck on your accounting.

Now is the era of YouTube and AI. We have to maximize the use of these gadgets to be aids of our learning. If my son watches YouTube, it must be something fun, meaningful, and safe. In reality, videos can be violent, meaningless, and dangerous. We also nee to warn our children about these. Not knowing what a bad video from a good one is a skill they need to develop since we are moving forward with this medium and we shall continue to be surrounded by it even more in the future.

Your ideas are loaded here on this composition. You have a systematic way of telling your story and an effective transition that make your points easily understood. Go over my suggestions carefully.

Excellent piece, keep it up!

-T. Donna~ 

Hello, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

How was your day?
>> Correct!

I rode a bicycle with my wife this morning.
>> Correct!

And, the computer shop boss came to my house to fix our printer.
>> Correct!

He diagnosed that some component of our printer was broken, so he told me that he will visit us again with the new component.
>> He diagnosed that component of our printer was broken, so he told me that he will visit us again with the new component.

Again, I realized that the machine and gadget never last forever.
>> Correct!

As for my itinerary, there seemed to be need to change many schedules.
>> As for my itinerary, there seemed to be a need to change many schedules.

Although today was my day off, there were many things that I should be concerned about in the clinic.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

Hence, I checked the work related chats every 30 minutes.
>> Correct!

Fortunately, the profit for today was so good.
>> Correct!

The end day of this month is coming soon, so that I have to calculate the staff's salaries and the tax tomorrow.
>> Correct!

We don't have enough time especially now, because our vacation will come and it means we can't do any work in that periods.
>> We don't have enough time especially now, because our vacation will come and it means we can't do any work (in/during) that period.

About my assignment, I just want my daughters to do everything except for watching Youtube during their free time.
>> Correct!
Or: YouTube

How about you?
>> Correct!

See you soon.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130824 Do you consider yourself a good artist? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 0
130823 What is a unique talent you have? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2339
130822 If you wrote a letter to your government, what would you write... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2
130821 Is it sometimes okay to give things up? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2685
130820 Are there any superstitions or beliefs in your country related... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130819 According to a survey, over half of the Korean population has... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2424
130818 What three (3) adjectives would you use to describe your... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2491
130817 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"The happiest... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130816 Homework- What did you do last weekend? ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3619
130815 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2903
130814 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: Do you like having a family gathering? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 5
130813 What are the disadvantages of living in a bustling city? ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2335
130812 HOMEWORK FOR THE STUDENT: What have you lost while traveling? ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130811 homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2040
130810 Do you love your neighborhood? Please explain your answer ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2451
130809 HOMEWORK: Writing Exercise: Do you stay in touch with all of the... ¼­*ÅÃ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2950
130808 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3220
130807 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3184
130806 WRITING TASK: What is your biggest dream? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 7
130805 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04