¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 06.29

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-06-29 3114

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the most dangerous jobs?

There are many dangerous jobs in the world.
Construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, etc.
Among them, I think dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
They're fishermen, but it is some special.
Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least or months at most they are catch the fish.
But, everything in the sea is dangerous.
If break down they're ship, they are should fixed own.
Can be hurt by equipment(net, fishing needle).
If they're sick, They can't go to the hospital.
And work difficulty is extreme hard.
So, wages are very high.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think are the most dangerous jobs?


There are many dangerous jobs in the world.
>> CORRECT!
Construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, etc.
>> There are construction workers, firefighters, police, miners, fishermen, and many more.
Among them, I think dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
>> Among them, I think the most dangerous job is ocean fishing vessel(¿ø¾ç ¾î¼±).
They're fishermen, but it is some special.
>> They're fishermen, but it is a bit more special.
Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least or months at most they are catch the fish.
>> Once they are out in the ocean, during a few weeks at least, or months at most, they catch fish.
But, everything in the sea is dangerous.
>> CORRECT!
If break down they're ship, they are should fixed own.
>> If their ship breaks down, they should fix it on their own.
Can be hurt by equipment(net, fishing needle).
>> It can be because of their equipment (net, fishing needle).
If they're sick, They can't go to the hospital.
>> If they're sick, they can't go to the hospital.
And work difficulty is extreme hard.
>>  And the nature of their work is extremely hard.
So, wages are very high.
>> CORRECT!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129229 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 3271
129228 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 2747
129227 Do you think mental health is more important than physical... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 3895
129226 What are other major issues that you can observe in New York? ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 3678
129225 In your opinion, what is the most difficult part of learning... Á¶*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 4087
129224 taxi-drones Àå*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 4651
129223 Homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 0
129222 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-07-03 3573
129221 I think it\'s the destruction of the ozone layer. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 3795
129220 I don\'t know well. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 2605
129219 Homework 6/30 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 1
129218 Homeworks 6/28 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 1
129217 switch from ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 0
129216 Writing Task 0630 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 0
129215 What are the benefits of spending time in nature for physical... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 2
129214 What do you think about taking a nap? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 3895
129213 Do you like cats? Why or why not ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 4150
129212 Why do children like playing online games? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 2722
129211 How many glasses of water do I drink everyday?^^ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 3853
129210 What are you most passionate about? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 3592

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04