¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Does your hobby interfere with your work/study/personal life? Please explain your answer.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¾È*½Ò
2023-07-04 4202

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Yes, it does. My hobby influences my work and personal life. For example, I am a music band member at my church, playing the electronic keyboard and organizing coffee chats for harmony among my band members. This experience made me understand what teamwork is. We all members are different regarding artistic temperature and characteristics. In order to make harmony in the band, I first try to talk about our shared vision related to our music, and then I listen to other members' stories and thoughts to find out their strengths and weaknesses. These processes helped my team make one team by knowing each other deeply. Thus, at my work, I am also in charge of a bridge between team members or team members and our boss. I am used to doing that role because of my experiences participating in the music band. Meanwhile, these experiences allowed me to accept diverse people in my life, making a friend more easily and comfortably. Thus, I think my hobby interferes with several parts of my life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your effort to answer the question genuinely, Shine. May you continue to develop productive hobbies.
-Faith-
Yes, it does. 
>> CORRECT
My hobby influences my work and personal life. 
>> CORRECT
For example, I am a music band member at my church, playing the electronic keyboard and organizing coffee chats for harmony among my band members. 
>> For example, I am a music band member at my church, so I play the electronic keyboard and organize coffee chats for harmony among my band members. 
This experience made me understand what teamwork is. 
>> CORRECT
We all members are different regarding artistic temperature and characteristics. 
>> We, all members, are different regarding artistic temperaments and characteristics. 
In order to make harmony in the band, I first try to talk about our shared vision related to our music, and then I listen to other members' stories and thoughts to find out their strengths and weaknesses. 
>> CORRECT
These processes helped my team make one team by knowing each other deeply. 
>> These processes helped us make one team by knowing each other deeply. 
Thus, at my work, I am also in charge of a bridge between team members or team members and our boss. 
>> Thus, at my work, I am also in charge and play as a bridge among the team members or between the team members and our boss. 
I am used to doing that role because of my experiences participating in the music band. 
>> CORRECT
Meanwhile, these experiences allowed me to accept diverse people in my life, making a friend more easily and comfortably. 
>> CORRECT
Thus, I think my hobby interferes with several parts of my life.
>> CORRECT
OR Hence, my hobby intervenes with my life immensely.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130157 What is your best travel tip? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 3338
130156 Do you think there¡¯d be fewer wars if all countries were ruled... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3
130155 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 4574
130154 homework 08.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 4319
130153 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3236
130152 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130151 Would you rather go to the beach or the pamping? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3679
130150 Why is laughter the best medicine? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3891
130149 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 4047
130148 Would you like your name to be put in the Walk of Fame? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3325
130147 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130146 If you\'re talking about rules to follow between love, I think... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2458
130145 The first thing that comes to mind is the illegal discharge of... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 4639
130144 News spread quickly, and at the same time, various rumors and... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3984
130143 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2878
130142 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3265
130141 Are there times when jokes are bad and should not be told? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3997
130140 Homework : Which part of your apartment do you not like most? ÃÖ*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 4856
130139 What i\'am afraid of È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 5297
130138 What other investments are popular for people your age in South... ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3413

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04