¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The most beautiful place in my city

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¸²
2023-07-10 3612

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®



The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my home. I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays lots of places in Korea has bad air because of the transportation and air pollution. However, the mountain behind my home has lots of trees and also a stream so the air is really clean and it smells like the rural area. Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a kind of a roe deer lives there. Yesterday when I was sleeping, I heard some sound that sounds like the woman screaming. I was really surprised but my mom told me that it¡¯s a deer. Other day when I was coming home by rivers I saw a deer drinking water at there. It was really surprising but that was a quite great experience that I see the deer near my home not at the zoo. Also, I had atopy since I was little, but after I moved here it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë



Hi, Emily! Thank you so much for answering your homework :)
I really appreciate it!
Keep it up :)


-Teacher Nikki ^^ 


The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my home. 
>> CORRECT!
OR >> The most beautiful place in my city is the mountain behind my house. 
I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays lots of places in Korea has bad air because of the transportation and air pollution. 
>> I think this is the most beautiful place because nowadays there are lots of places in Korea that have bad air because of transportation and air pollution. 
However, the mountain behind my home has lots of trees and also a stream so the air is really clean and it smells like the rural area.
>> CORRECT!
Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a kind of a roe deer lives there. 
>> Also, there are lots of animals living there. Sometimes, I can wake up due to the sound of the birds. Also, a roe deer lives there. 
Yesterday when I was sleeping, I heard some sound that sounds like the woman screaming.
>> Yesterday, when I was sleeping, I heard a sound that sounds like a woman screaming.
I was really surprised but my mom told me that it¡¯s a deer. 
>> I was really surprised but my mom told me that it was a deer.
Other day when I was coming home by rivers I saw a deer drinking water at there.
>> The other day, when I was on my way home, I saw a deer drinking some water by the rivers.
It was really surprising but that was a quite great experience that I see the deer near my home not at the zoo.
>> It was really surprising and it was quite a great experience that I saw a deer near my place and not at the zoo.
Also, I had atopy since I was little, but after I moved here it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.
>> Lastly, I had some allergies since I was little, but after I moved here, it get better. So for these reasons, the mountain behind my home is the most beautiful place in my city.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128095 consolation ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128094 Do you think it\'s necessary to be aware of the news and current... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1689
128093 5/9 homework ÃÖ*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1581
128092 How do you feel when you meet people with a long face? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1769
128091 Homework for 05/08 ¹æ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1935
128090 Do you have a favorite song? What is it and why do you like it? ¹é*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1591
128089 Homework Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128088 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 2
128087 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1548
128086 5.May.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128085 Homework Àå*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128084 Is it important to be an organized person? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128083 What would you do if you noticed a crime being committed? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 1
128082 Should the voting age be lowered to 16? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-05-09 2
128081 homework ½Å*ÈÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 1640
128080 Homework ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 1277
128079 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 1
128078 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 2002
128077 homework ¹Ú*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 1819
128076 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-05-08 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04