¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-07-19 3785

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.
Because I think racism is one of the ways to fill human-generated self-esteem.
Most people want to be better off and happier than others, but they become more miserable by comparing them to others.
I think such people fill their self-esteem by disparaging others in the name of race to fill their self-esteem.
The day when racism disappears in the world should be a country on Earth, and I think it is possible if all of them live well.
Otherwise, I think the moment when only one race survives in the world will be the moment when racism disappears the fastest.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Da Hye,

Thank you for doing your homework. You're absolutely right that racism can be a challenging issue to address, but it's essential to talk about it openly and honestly. Your insights show how much you care about making the world a better place. Remember, it's okay to have different opinions and ideas. What matters is that we listen to one another and try to understand each other's perspectives. Keep up the great work, and don't hesitate to share your thoughts or ask any questions. I'm here to support you. Take care and keep shining!

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think racism is hard to disappear from the world.

>>CORRECT

OR>>I believe that racism is challenging to eliminate from the world.

Because I think racism is one of the ways to fill human-generated self-esteem.

>>CORRECT

OR>>Because it serves as a means for some individuals to boost their self-esteem.

Most people want to be better off and happier than others, but they become more miserable by comparing them to others.

>> Most people desire to have a better and happier life than others, but this desire often leads them to feel more miserable when they start comparing themselves with others.

I think such people fill their self-esteem by disparaging others in the name of race to fill their self-esteem.

>>CORRECT

OR>> I think such individuals try to elevate their self-esteem by belittling others based on their race.

The day when racism disappears in the world should be a country on Earth, and I think it is possible if all of them live well.

>> When racism is no longer present in the world, it will be a huge achievement for all of us, and I believe it can be achieved if everyone is treated fairly and lives a good life.

Otherwise, I think the moment when only one race survives in the world will be the moment when racism disappears the fastest.

>>CORRECT

OR>> In another way, I believe that racism will fade away most quickly when there's only one race left in the world.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130846 What is the best way to fully enjoy your life in the... ¹Ú*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 3017
130845 5 ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 3275
130844 What are the effects of knowing astronomy to humans? °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 0
130843 human right ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 2435
130842 WRITING TASK: Do you think there is a way to be always prepared... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 5
130841 questions) È«*Ç¥ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 1723
130840 If you wrote a letter to your government, what would you write... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 1
130839 9/6 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 2298
130838 What\'s a life experience you\'re looking forward to in the... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 2228
130837 How do you stay motivated and passionate about your career over... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-07 1
130836 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2153
130835 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2833
130834 Where are some good places to meet people? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130833 Homework-230906 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2
130832 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3
130831 Writing ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2118
130830 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2362
130829 4 ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3298
130828 Homework ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2623
130827 homework 09.06 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2921

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04