¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Traveling!

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*À±
2023-08-02 3352

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi So Yun!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please be careful with subject and verb agreement.
If you have any questions, you can always ask in class.
Keep up the good work.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
The good thing about traveling is that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
>> Some good things about traveling are that you can experience new things that you have never experienced before, and that you can rest your tired body and mind. 
The downside of travel is that it can be stressful and tiring due to the awkwardness conveyed by new experiences.
>> Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130529 What kinds of people do you want to meet? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-27 1
130528 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-27 2986
130527 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-27 1854
130526 Is it always wrong to argue with the elderly? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 5
130525 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 1918
130524 What are the laws in your country regarding garbage? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 1
130523 Which one is more important? Physical or mental health? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 2998
130522 What\'s the difference between working abroad vs. in your... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 2107
130521 Are there any activities that you used to do but don¡¯t do... Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 1
130520 homework Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 2524
130519 homework Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 2498
130518 Hi, Mayleen! °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 0
130517 Where would you like to go for an adventure? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-26 3430
130516 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 2785
130515 homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 3
130514 HOMEWORK ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 0
130513 Keep our body healthy! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 3185
130512 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 2769
130511 homework 08.25 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 3161
130510 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04