¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.03

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-03 4872

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?

I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What do you think is the worst eating disorder?


I think the worst eating disorder is anorexia.
>> CORRECT!
This disease is come from excessive loss weight and food calorie obsession.
>> This disease describes an excessive weight loss and food calorie obsession.
These days this disease that problematic for young people.
>> These days, this disease becomes a problematic one for young people.
They are refuse food because, they are want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
>> They refuse eating food because they want skinny bodies like K-pop idol groups, celebrities, and influencers.
This ways of diet is shortcut to breaking the body.
>> This way of doing diet is a shortcut for breaking the body.
Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat will reduce muscles, and other kindeys will be dangerous.
>> Excessive skinny body is the lack of fat that will reduce muscles, and kidneys will be in danger.
So, doctor advised it "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
>> So, doctors always advise, "Never try to build a body like a celebrity."
Fortunately, these days development of sport media, more people exercise in healthy way.
>> Fortunately, because of the development of sports media these days, more people exercise in a healthy way.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128938 What do you love wearing in the summer? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128937 Is it possible that there is life on other planets? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-20 1
128936 What do you think the Korean government should do with regards... ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 3150
128935 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1669
128934 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128933 homework 06.19 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1925
128932 Characteristics of good friend ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1943
128931 What is your biggest fear? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 3859
128930 I¡¯m afraid of the dark ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2739
128929 What is your favorite teacher and why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2707
128928 My best trip ever ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2415
128927 homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2896
128926 Some people think employers should not care about the way their... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128925 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2696
128924 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128923 Are you afraid of the dark? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2853
128922 What are the positive and negative ways some people choose to... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2855
128921 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 4649
128920 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1809
128919 19.Jun.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04