무료 레벨테스트 받고 강사평가 남기면 1,OOO원 쿠폰 즉시 적립!

혹시 사이트에선 찾지 못한 궁금한 점이 있으세요?
남겨주신 이메일을 통해 답변 드리겠습니다.

문의하신 내용이 문자로 발송되오니
연락처를 남겨주세요.
업무시간 월~금 오전9시~오후6시
(점심시간 낮12시~오후1시)

영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What kind of self-defense do you know?

작성자: 이*주
2023-08-04 3358

회원님의 영작문

There are several things for self-defense like boxing, martial arts and firearms etc.
But in Korea, the government doesn't allow to have a firearm for citizens.
So we have to train our body to protect ourselves.

I can read various articles and watch the news that telling about crime.
We live in a pretty dangerous world these days.
Therefore, when we go out, we can unintentionally face bad incidents.
And the law is too permissive that nothing happens but a slap on the wrist.
For that reason, I'd like to say that we must have to learning how to protect our body.

Actually, "Growing your muscle mass" is easy to say. I know it's really hard.
I started a boxing 2 months ago, but I don't feel like my stamina is getting better.
But, I'll get over it!

p.s.
While writing, I think I got sidetracked:)
Because the topic was "What kinds of self-defense do you know?", but I was focusing on "Importantance of self-defense".
Have a nice weekend!

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good evening, Hyeon Ju!

First of all, congratulations for making it here on this page today! I am not surprised that your sentences are mostly correct. It is clear to see your knack in the English language by the clarity and impeccable organization of your answer.

You have not sidetracked from the main point of the question, rather, expounded on the point why self-defense is a crucial matter especially for young women like you. Some people say that the world is becoming a better place  to live in, but we are exposed to an increasing number of dangerous situations. This is why self-defense lets us take charge and defuse, de-escalate, or defend ourselves and those around us. It also builds our confidence on ourselves.

If your strength lies in boxing, taekwondo, or other combative sports, never shy away in using any of these skills when necessary.

Please go over my grammar suggestions below. There are very few and you can easily memorize the patterns. Excellent piece of writing!

See you again soon!

-T. Donna~

There are several things for self-defense like boxing, martial arts and firearms etc.
>> Correct!
Or: There are several things for self-defense like boxing, martial arts, firearms, etc.

But in Korea, the government doesn't allow to have a firearm for citizens.
>> Correct!

So we have to train our body to protect ourselves.
>> Correct!

I can read various articles and watch the news that telling about crime.
>> I can read various articles and watch the news (that tell/ telling) about crime.

We live in a pretty dangerous world these days.
>> Correct!

Therefore, when we go out, we can unintentionally face bad incidents.
>> Correct!

And the law is too permissive that nothing happens but a slap on the wrist.
>> Correct! Very good sentence!

For that reason, I'd like to say that we must have to learning how to protect our body.
>> For that reason, I'd like to say that we must have to learn how to protect our body.

Actually, "Growing your muscle mass" is easy to say. I know it's really hard.
>> Correct!
Or: "growing your muscle mass"

I started a boxing 2 months ago, but I don't feel like my stamina is getting better.
>>  I started boxing two months ago, but I don't feel like my stamina is getting better.

But, I'll get over it!
>> Correct!

p.s.
While writing, I think I got sidetracked:)
>> Correct!

Because the topic was "What kinds of self-defense do you know?", but I was focusing on "Importantance of self-defense".
>> Correct!
Or: Importance

Have a nice weekend!
>> Correct!
번호 제목 글쓴이 공개 상태 등록일 조회수
132314 homework 11.09 최*� 완료 2023-11-09 4266
132313 Why do you think people love following the trends? 권*윤 완료 2023-11-09 0
132312 What do you want to be good at? 구*우 완료 2023-11-09 3913
132311 Another country’s food which i’ve tried 이*솔 완료 2023-11-09 4758
132310 Homework 김*숙 완료 2023-11-09 3310
132309 What is your favorite form of entertainment? 에*미 완료 2023-11-09 1
132308 Homework 김*우 완료 2023-11-09 3436
132307 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about “What is your... 앨* 완료 2023-11-09 2
132306 What challenges might older adults face when trying to reenter... 신*섭 완료 2023-11-09 3621
132305 What we shouldn\'t do when in the new place 강*율 완료 2023-11-09 1
132304 Homework 류*우 완료 2023-11-09 3552
132303 What was your favorite subject in school? 이*무엘 완료 2023-11-09 3689
132302 Do you feel the same way or are you more pressured in this case? 김*아 완료 2023-11-09 1
132301 What was the best lesson you learned in Indonesia? 송*진 완료 2023-11-09 2
132300 homework 정*안 완료 2023-11-09 0
132299 How much are parents to blame if their children become criminals? 윤*원 완료 2023-11-09 3
132298 homework_231108 한*록 완료 2023-11-09 0
132297 homework 김*린 완료 2023-11-09 1
132296 My know-how to handle changes 임*진 완료 2023-11-09 4001
132295 Survey 권*정 완료 2023-11-09 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[마이페이지 > 수업 내용 보기 > 학습 캘린더 > 영작교정 버튼 클릭]

수업 횟수만큼 영작교정 게시판이 생성되며,
지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

주5회 수업 : 월 20회 이용 가능
주3회 수업 : 월 12회 이용 가능
주2회 수업 : 월 08회 이용 가능
01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

첨부 파일은 원활한 첨삭을 위한 참고자료로 사용될 뿐,
파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

업로드 가능한 첨부 파일은 최대 2mb까지이며,
첨부 할 수 있는 파일 형식은 다음과 같습니다.

문서 - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
이미지 - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
전문 분야를 제외한 회원님이 직접 작성한 글만
첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
하루 게시 가능한 글은 3회까지 이며,
종료된 수업의 영작교정 게시판은
이용이 어려운 점 양해 부탁 드립니다.
04

와이즈에듀케이션아이(주) 사이트명: 파워잉글리쉬 대표이사 전상현
사업자등록번호: 217-81-44736 통신판매신고번호: 2014-서울도봉-0233호
서울본사: 서울시 노원구 한글비석로 245 두타빌 B동 7층 713호
대표번호 1688-8672 개인정보관리 책임자: 안희영 [powerenglish@pweng.net]