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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

Self Introduction

작성자: 박*아
2023-08-10 3396

회원님의 영작문

Self Introduction

HI, My name is Kyong-A, Park and you can call me Julia.
I turned 52 this year and I've lived in Hwaseong city sinc 2005 with my family.
There are four member in my family. My husband, one daughter, one son and me.
I grauated from Joongbu graduate school majoring in career consulting.
I have been working for twenty years in a global company.
I am in charge of personal management. And I have lots of hand-on backgraound in the field.
I'm outgoing and bright. So I like to meet many people to share my thought,
activity, and moods with them.
I usually do many things because it is a good idea to broaden knowledge
I especially like hiking lots of mountain around the country.
so I am able to be relaxed when I top of the mountain because I get some fresh air
and I can see a beautiful scenery.
MY motto is no pain no gain. I guess that's all
I appreciate your listening.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Well done for your introduction, Julia! You show good understanding on how to do an introduction. Keep it up!-Faith-
HI, 
>> Hi!
My name is Kyong-A, Park and you can call me Julia.
>> My name is Kyong-A Park and you can call me Julia.
I turned 52 this year and I've lived in Hwaseong city sinc 2005 with my family.
>> I turned 52 this year, and I've lived in Hwaseong city since 2005 with my family.
There are four member in my family. My husband, one daughter, one son and me.
>> There are four members in my family - my husband, one daughter, one son, and me.
I grauated from Joongbu graduate school majoring in career consulting.
>> I graduated from Joongbu Graduate School majoring in career consulting.
I have been working for twenty years in a global company.
>> CORRECT
I am in charge of personal management. And I have lots of hand-on backgraound in the field.
>> I am in charge of personal management, and I have much hands-on background in the field.
I'm outgoing and bright. So I like to meet many people to share my thought, 
activity, and moods with them.
>> I'm outgoing and bright, so I like to meet many people to share my thoughts, activities, and moods with them.
I usually do many things because it is a good idea to broaden knowledge
>> I usually do many things because it is a good idea to broaden my knowledge.
I especially like hiking lots of mountain around the country.
>> I especially like hiking to see the mountains around the country.
so I am able to be relaxed when I top of the mountain because I get some fresh air 
and I can see a beautiful scenery.
>> By doing so,  I am able to relax when I am on top of the mountain because I can get some fresh air and I can see a beautiful scenery.
MY motto is no pain no gain. 
>> My motto is no pain no gain. 
I guess that's all I appreciate your listening.
>> I guess that's all I appreciate you listening to me.
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