¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What other investments are popular for people your age in South Korea?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*ÁÖ
2023-08-11 3337

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, people in my age are likely to save money with installment savings or deposit.
The Bank's interest rate is not higher than stock investment, but it is a safe asset if the bank is not bankruptcy.
Before COVID-19, not only my government but also other countries banks issuing money to help people who cannot earn money during a pandemic.
As a result, the value of cash goes down as known as inflation.

I'm not familiar with the economy, but I know about fears who have stocks when it comes to inflation.
The stock has volatility as much as its profits.
In my case, as I told you I bought an India company's stock because India's average age is under 30s that are shown to have great potential for economic growth in my opinion.
But the company is getting delisted.
During inflation, many stock investors sustained a huge loss.
That is the reason why people prefer to save money rather than invest.

Anyway, I wish my other stocks will advance enough to make me financial freedom.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Hyeon Ju!

Saving is putting your money into a safe and low-risk account, such as a savings account, money market account, or a certificate of deposit. Savings products generally offer low returns but they also come with low risk. They are a good option if you need to access your money in the near future and can't afford to lose any of it.

Investing differs from saving in that the money used is put to work, meaning that there is some implicit risk that the related projects may fail, resulting in a loss of money. Investing is to grow one's money over time. It is an excellent way to build your wealth and plan for your financial goals, particularly if you start at your young age. It's the primary method for saving for retirement, and it can help you reach many other financial milestones along the way.

One way of not losing stocks is diversifying your investment in the hope that you can gain good returns. Hence, in your next investments, try to split your money into different companies. This way, there may be smaller returns but more assured profit. I'm sure you will learn the ropes when you are brave enough to trade in stocks once again.

You has a high frequency of correct sentences, excellent job! My suggestions cover simple prepositions, diction (correct choice of words), as well as the proper word form. Study them  carefully below.

Thank you for your smart work for this homework task!

See you next week!

-T. Donna~

Nowadays, people in my age are likely to save money with installment savings or deposit.
>> Correct!

The Bank's interest rate is not higher than stock investment, but it is a safe asset if the bank is not bankruptcy.
>> The Bank's interest rate is not higher than stock investment, but it is a safe asset if the bank is not into bankruptcy.

Before COVID-19, not only my government but also other countries banks issuing money to help people who cannot earn money during a pandemic.
>> Before COVID-19, not only my government but also other countries banks issued money to help people who cannot earn money during the pandemic.

As a result, the value of cash goes down as known as inflation.
>> Correct!
Or: As a result, the value of cash goes down known as inflation.

I'm not familiar with the economy, but I know about fears who have stocks when it comes to inflation.
>> I'm not familiar with the economy, but I know about fears of those who have stocks when it comes to inflation.

The stock has volatility as much as its profits.
>> Correct!

In my case, as I told you I bought an India company's stock because India's average age is under 30s that are shown to have great potential for economic growth in my opinion.
>> In my case, as I told you I bought an Indian company's stock because India's average age is under 30s that are shown to have great potential for economic growth in my opinion. Very good sentence!

But the company is getting delisted.
>> Correct!

During inflation, many stock investors sustained a huge loss.
>> Correct!

That is the reason why people prefer to save money rather than invest.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I wish my other stocks will advance enough to make me financial freedom.
>> Anyway, I wish my other stocks will advance enough to give me financial freedom.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131062 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2619
131061 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2955
131060 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 1
131059 Important factors in determining price of a property : location... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-15 2
131058 What animal best represents you? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2
131057 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2626
131056 A first impression that can change °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 5
131055 What does the phrase \"be the change\" mean? Please respond in... ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 3160
131054 homework 09.14 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2091
131053 What\'s your thought on tipping in a fast-food restaurant? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 4
131052 My criminal experience. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2611
131051 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131050 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131049 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2
131048 What makes you want to go to school every day? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2285
131047 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 4042
131046 Reason ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 2385
131045 Are you so close to any of your friends that you consider them... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 0
131044 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 4489
131043 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-14 3190

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04