¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To hope to avoid a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-15 2785

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. I don't like doing something without my controlling. And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

It must be the spirit of alcohol that is taking control over you when you get drunk. Well, drinking is like a game- if you do unexpected things, the next day, you will be the topic of your friends' story. Hence, behaving when you are intoxicated is a game of control. I hope that you will be safe each time you drink and do not do something unusual. ^^

Your written English level displays mastery of grammar and an evidence of long use of the language. If you read your composition again before sending it, you will realize that there may be something strange about the grammar structure and you may probably right. Then, you can edit it and make your composition error-free. Nonetheless, your sentences are organized and can easily be grasped.

I will see you tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. 
>> I would like to avoid the vice of acting out of drunkenness.

I don't like doing something without my controlling. 
>> I don't like doing something without my control.

And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.
>> And, it must be a bad thing that makes me embarrassed.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129870 homework 07.31 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2292
129869 Something about my closest friend ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2729
129868 What is the best thing about your summer vacation? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 3060
129867 What do you think the punishment for drunk driving should be? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 4252
129866 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2962
129865 What do you want to do on your vacation? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 2531
129864 Best and Worst trips! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 5068
129863 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 4403
129862 Why is it important to study English? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 5630
129861 My favorite part in my work ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 3364
129860 Have you ever helped anyone in behalf of a friend ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 3209
129859 WRITING TASK: What is your favorite photo and why do you like it? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 3
129858 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 0
129857 Is Having an Interview Important? Why? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 4679
129856 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 0
129855 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 3562
129854 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 0
129853 What pet do you like? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 3528
129852 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 4199
129851 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-31 4066

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04