¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To hope to avoid a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-15 2933

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. I don't like doing something without my controlling. And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

It must be the spirit of alcohol that is taking control over you when you get drunk. Well, drinking is like a game- if you do unexpected things, the next day, you will be the topic of your friends' story. Hence, behaving when you are intoxicated is a game of control. I hope that you will be safe each time you drink and do not do something unusual. ^^

Your written English level displays mastery of grammar and an evidence of long use of the language. If you read your composition again before sending it, you will realize that there may be something strange about the grammar structure and you may probably right. Then, you can edit it and make your composition error-free. Nonetheless, your sentences are organized and can easily be grasped.

I will see you tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. 
>> I would like to avoid the vice of acting out of drunkenness.

I don't like doing something without my controlling. 
>> I don't like doing something without my control.

And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.
>> And, it must be a bad thing that makes me embarrassed.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129138 How do you motivate yourself? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 3498
129137 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 3296
129136 What would you do if your mobile phone is lost and you are... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 0
129135 Is it okay to use animals for business? For example, zoos. ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 1
129134 My favorite TV series! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 4007
129133 Do you agree with Alice Bloch\'s opinion? ±Ç*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 2
129132 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 1
129131 Do you agree that religious leaders should maintain celibacy?... ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 3868
129130 Homework ÀÌ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 3420
129129 How will you help a friend who is experiencing a sexual assault?... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 5
129128 What kind of work environment do you prefer for your ideal job? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 0
129127 homework È«*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 1
129126 Homework ¼Û*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 3859
129125 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 3529
129124 27.Jun.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 2
129123 Homework Á¤*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 3394
129122 HOMEWORK3 ÀÌ*½Â ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 0
129121 Describe how movies influence your look at life. ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-06-28 2
129120 Please correct my sentence ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 4
129119 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-27 3623

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04