¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To hope to avoid a vice

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-15 3024

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. I don't like doing something without my controlling. And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

It must be the spirit of alcohol that is taking control over you when you get drunk. Well, drinking is like a game- if you do unexpected things, the next day, you will be the topic of your friends' story. Hence, behaving when you are intoxicated is a game of control. I hope that you will be safe each time you drink and do not do something unusual. ^^

Your written English level displays mastery of grammar and an evidence of long use of the language. If you read your composition again before sending it, you will realize that there may be something strange about the grammar structure and you may probably right. Then, you can edit it and make your composition error-free. Nonetheless, your sentences are organized and can easily be grasped.

I will see you tomorrow.

-T. Donna~

I would like to avoid the vice that acting out of drunkenness. 
>> I would like to avoid the vice of acting out of drunkenness.

I don't like doing something without my controlling. 
>> I don't like doing something without my control.

And It must be bad thing and make me embarrassed.
>> And, it must be a bad thing that makes me embarrassed.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128604 Thinking of house ÃÖ*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 1
128603 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2408
128602 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 0
128601 homework 06.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 3123
128600 Home work Á¶* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2303
128599 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 0
128598 What is the most time-consuming thing you do in your life? ¹Ú*³ª ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2283
128597 home wark ÀÌ*±³ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2998
128596 What\'s the worst experience you\'ve had in your hometown? ÀÌ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2656
128595 How are people enslaved because they owe a debt to someone else? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 4
128594 My favorite color ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2449
128593 Homework ¾È*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2606
128592 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2333
128591 New things ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 1
128590 Tell me about your most disappointing birthday. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 1798
128589 Should rape victims abort their unborn children? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2742
128588 In food shop ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 1
128587 Do you like taking pictures? Why? ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 1
128586 Thursday homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2639
128585 My YouTube channel! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-01 2148

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04