¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

To develop my life

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-08-21 4096

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I would like to develop my life to enjoy and get be satisfied. I knew how much important to do self compassion. We have to do it for our self-regard. When we have a strong mind and high self regard we can endure against the stress.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Thomas!

I could not agree more. If you regard yourself highly because you respect the fact that you are wise, compassionate, and worthy of respect,  you can shield yourself from unnecessary and irrelevant distraction or harm. Thus, you have to make yourself full again to be ready to love and be successful generally.

Kindly study my grammar suggestions below. You used very good vocabulary as well as combinations of sentences very well. Excellent job!

See you soon.

-T. Donna~

I would like to develop my life to enjoy and get be satisfied. 
>> I would like to develop my life and enjoy being satisfied.

I knew how much important to do self compassion. 
>> Correct!
Or: 
I know how important it is to do self compassion. 

We have to do it for our self-regard. 
>> Correct!

When we have a strong mind and high self regard we can endure against the stress.
>> Correct!
Or: 
When we have a strong mind and high self-regard we can endure  stress.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129736 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4763
129735 What\'s your theory on the 4 children surviving the plane crash... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 2
129734 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4354
129733 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 2
129732 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 0
129731 Do you like eating candy ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4498
129730 Do you prefer rainy or sunny weather? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 0
129729 homework 07.24 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4531
129728 What do you think is the most important part of the body? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 3115
129727 What is the food that you dislike the most? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 3256
129726 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 3670
129725 letter ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1
129724 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 6249
129723 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 0
129722 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4690
129721 Which season do you like in your country? Why? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 3133
129720 Do you like listening to music? What are your favorite songs? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 3654
129719 What can transform your business to a higher level? Áö* ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 1
129718 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4415
129717 WRITING TASK: What are the advantages of change? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-07-24 4

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04