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homework 08.24

작성자: 최*�
2023-08-24 2614

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What would you like to change about the education system of your country?

In Korea, all students have to study to take the Korea SAT, no matter they are interested or not in studying.
And they study hard to go better university.
But, I think the biggest problem is private education and public education.
Private education is a class in private academy except for schools.
Schools teachers don't teach students the basics.
So, most pupils have to per-learning through private education.
I have experienced it, too
I think this education system is wrong.
Because if I don't learning private education, I can't maintain grade(score).
In addition, students do not focus on school classes.
Because they are busy the academy homework.
So, I want to change this system problems.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What would you like to change about the education system of your country?

In Korea, all students have to study to take the Korea SAT, no matter they are interested or not in studying.
>> In Korea, all students have to study to take the Korea SAT, no matter if they are interested or not in studying.
And they study hard to go better university.
>> And they study hard to go to a better university.
But, I think the biggest problem is private education and public education.
>> CORRECT!
Private education is a class in private academy except for schools.
>> CORRECT!
Schools teachers don't teach students the basics.
>> School teachers don't teach students the basics.
So, most pupils have to per-learning through private education.
>> So, most pupils have to undergo pre-learning through private education.
I have experienced it, too.
>> CORRECT!
I think this education system is wrong.
>> CORRECT!
Because if I don't learning private education, I can't maintain grade(score).
>> If I don't learn under private education, I can't maintain good grades (score).
In addition, students do not focus on school classes.
>> CORRECT!
Because they are busy the academy homework.
>> It's because they are busy with their academy homework.
So, I want to change this system problems.
>> So, I want to change this system's problem.

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