¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-08-25 2345

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I agree.
School life is said to be a small society.
I think it's natural to ask the student who has been harmed if the damage is due to the individual action.
It is impossible to punish from the beginning, so it is necessary to understand and persuade.
However, I think there should be a deserved punishment if you continue to do harm despite going through such a process.
This is because the other students who are with him will be directly or indirectly stressed mentally or physically.
I think we need to relearn the sense of community together.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good afternoon, Eliana!
You constructed your sentences correctly.  Thank you for doing your homework.
Remember: It takes a village to raise a child. 
Have a good day!
Aki~

I agree. School life is said to be a small society.
>>> CORRECT!

I think it's natural to ask the student who has been harmed if the damage is due to the individual action.
>>> CORRECT!

It is impossible to punish from the beginning, so it is necessary to understand and persuade.
>>> CORRECT!

However, I think there should be a deserved punishment if you continue to do harm despite going through such a process.
>>> CORRECT!

This is because the other students who are with him will be directly or indirectly stressed mentally or physically.
>>> CORRECT!

I think we need to relearn the sense of community together.
>>> CORRECT!


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130161 Having vices. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 3348
130160 Does what we see on television and in movies influence people to... ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-13 2526
130159 What do you look for in a good restaurant? ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 2423
130158 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 2877
130157 What is your best travel tip? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-12 2962
130156 Do you think there¡¯d be fewer wars if all countries were ruled... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3
130155 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 4103
130154 homework 08.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3861
130153 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2849
130152 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130151 Would you rather go to the beach or the pamping? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3369
130150 Why is laughter the best medicine? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3495
130149 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3701
130148 Would you like your name to be put in the Walk of Fame? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3053
130147 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 0
130146 If you\'re talking about rules to follow between love, I think... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2226
130145 The first thing that comes to mind is the illegal discharge of... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 4163
130144 News spread quickly, and at the same time, various rumors and... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 3460
130143 Myhomework Àü*¼± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2565
130142 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-11 2937

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04