¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-08-28 2110

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

***********************
HOMEWORK FOR TODAY:
ESSAY: Fast food is a part of life in many places. Some people think this has bad effects on lifestyle and diets. Do you agree or disagree?

Fast food is bad for our body. But it must not be bad for our life.
For example hamburger is good food for diet. it includes healthy food such as lettuce, tomato, and beef.
These things make nutritional balance. The french fry just makes our body bad.
The other example is pizza. Pizza is a Italy traditional food. and these aren't a result that Italy people are sick for pizza.
Frankly, American pizza that need more bad ingredient are gaining weight. are not Italy pizza.
In sort, some fast food make us bad clearly. But there is a good fast food for out life obviously.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ You are an enthusiastic learner who seems to enjoy writing! You appear well rested and ready for each essay question. 
See you~!^^
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Fast food is bad for our body.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 But it must not be bad for our life.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
For example hamburger is good food for diet.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 It includes healthy food such as lettuce, tomato, and beef.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
These things make nutritional balance.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
OR>>> These comprise nutritional balance.
The french fry just makes our body bad.
>>> French fries makes the body unhealthy. 
The other example is pizza. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Pizza is a Italy traditional food.
>>> Pizza is Italy's traditional food.
 and these aren't a result that Italy people are sick for pizza.
>>>  These don't make Italians get sick.
>>>  Eating pizza doesn't Italians get sick.
Frankly, American pizza that need more bad ingredient are gaining weight. are not Italy pizza.
>>> To be honest, America's pizza has unhealthy ingredients not Italy's. 
In sort, some fast food make us bad clearly.
>>> In short, some fast food makes our body unhealthy. 
 But there is a good fast food for our life obviously.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
129216 Writing Task 0630 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 0
129215 What are the benefits of spending time in nature for physical... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 2
129214 What do you think about taking a nap? ¹®*¿í ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 4714
129213 Do you like cats? Why or why not ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 4993
129212 Why do children like playing online games? °­*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-02 3458
129211 How many glasses of water do I drink everyday?^^ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 4903
129210 What are you most passionate about? Why? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 4478
129209 Why is drunk driving a grave offense? ¾ö*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 4065
129208 Would you compromise with a criminal if your life or your... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 4
129207 Can you correct my sentence? ¿À*º½ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 2
129206 What are the social activities we could never live without? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-07-01 1
129205 homework 06.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 5556
129204 My favorite accessories! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 3566
129203 Recent interest ÇÏ*ÇØ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 6
129202 Where dres o you want to celebrate your next birthday? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 5429
129201 School trip! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 3479
129200 Describe the experience of falling in love. ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 4600
129199 What is the reason for Korea\'s decision to change its age... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 0
129198 What would motivate you to continue working out? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 3051
129197 What can transform your business to a higher level? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-30 5268

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04