¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 08.28

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-08-28 2010

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country?

The reason why many Koreans drink is because they drink together to get close to friends or other people and to reduce stress.
I also think it's good to drink moderately on my body.
But, there have been many accidents because alcohol in Korea.
I think In modern Korean social problem is get-together culture in company.
After work some people want to go home and take a rest.
But, someone boss, doesn't understand take a rest after work, and forces to company staff to have a get-together.
And, they are every day say this "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
So, many young people dislike company dinner.
Also, If I don't go there often, some companies make me bullying or they give me a negative effect on promotion.
Fortunately, these days it's reduce these culture.
I don't understand these culture and I think It's need to disappear.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What kinds of social problems does alcohol cause in your country?


The reason why many Koreans drink is because they drink together to get close to friends or other people and to reduce stress.
>> CORRECT!
I also think it's good to drink moderately on my body.
>> I also think it's good to drink moderately for my body.
But, there have been many accidents because alcohol in Korea.
>> But, there have been many accidents because of alcohol in Korea.
I think In modern Korean social problem is get-together culture in company.
>> I think in today's modern society, the Korean social problem is the get-together culture in the company.
After work some people want to go home and take a rest.
>> CORRECT!
But, someone boss, doesn't understand take a rest after work, and forces to company staff to have a get-together.
>> But, some bosses don't understand that's important to take a rest after work, but instead he forces company staff to have a get-together.
And, they are every day say this "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
>> And, they say this every day:  "A company dinner is also an extension of work".
So, many young people dislike company dinner.
>> So, many young people dislike company dinners.
Also, If I don't go there often, some companies make me bullying or they give me a negative effect on promotion.
>> Also, if I don't go there often, some companies would bully their subordinates or they can give a negative effect on the promotion.
Fortunately, these days it's reduce these culture.
>> Fortunately, these days, this culture has been avoided.
I don't understand these culture and I think It's need to disappear.
>> I don't understand these cultures and I think it needs to disappear.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130042 How has the Internet changed the world? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 4023
130041 What do you think is the biggest change in how families are in... ¹Ý* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 2133
130040 The advantages of having a hobby ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 5174
130039 The disadvantages of having a divorce¡± ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 3533
130038 Have you ever had a cultural shock while traveling? How did you... Á¤*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 4180
130037 Home work ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 0
130036 homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 3426
130035 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 4411
130034 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 4452
130033 How does cultural diversity influence communication styles and... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-08 3522
130032 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 3472
130031 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 3160
130030 Gary Larson, a famous cartoonist, invented Anatidaephobia - the... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 2
130029 homework 08.07 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 3438
130028 Is your occupation related to what you studied in school? Back... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 1
130027 Art is important! ±è*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 3783
130026 Homework ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 1
130025 Do you like riding on a plane? Why or why not? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 2439
130024 Answer the questions in 2-3 sentences. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 2686
130023 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-07 3907

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04