¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Promoting

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-03 3160

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I want to promote myself. You know what? Most of people don¡¯t know how we are precious. Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.

I¡¯m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. These things always enforce my value. The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

You wrote a touching and reasonable essay, Jun! May you always see your value as a person. You were created with purpose and uniqueness. For my capitalization tip for you, the pronoun 'I' should always be capitalized.-Faith-
I want to promote myself. 
>> CORRECT
You know what? 
>> Do you know why?
Most of people don¡¯t know how we are precious. 
>> Most people do not know how precious we are.
Even though we are good at work in your job, we are valuable presence. 
>> Even though we are good at work, they do not value our presence. 
I had also ignored my self until i have started meditation. 
>> I had also ignored my self until I have started meditation. 
Bu after doing that, i can tell i have to be proud of myself, because i am the most valuable thing to myself.
>> However, after doing that, I can tell I have to be proud of myself because I am the most valuable thing to myself.
I¡¯m tall and maintain good shape. And i always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. 
>> I¡¯m tall, I maintain a good shape, and I always try to develop myself by exercising and reading. 
These things always enforce my value. 
>> CORRECT
OR These things enlighten me about my worth. 
The final step is to be respectful person that most of people around me like to assemble me.
>> The final step is to be a respectful person so that most people around me like to resemble me.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130090 Homework ÁÖ*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 4747
130089 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 0
130088 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 0
130087 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 0
130086 Why is proper waste disposal important? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3812
130085 What are some ways of protecting yourself from bad people? ±¸*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3119
130084 why do you like waching movies? ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3783
130083 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3299
130082 Why is it important to be always on time? ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 2669
130081 homework Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3086
130080 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3728
130079 homework Á¶*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3742
130078 Lesson 17 °ø*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 5016
130077 Do you think your future job will not be taken over by AI? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3687
130076 Suicide È«*±â ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 4132
130075 homework essay(2023. 8. 8.) ¼­*Àº ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 1
130074 WRITING TASK: What would you do if you had a line problem? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 6
130073 Writing task ¾È*Çü ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3919
130072 Who/What inspires you the most in your life now? ÀÌ*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 4075
130071 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-08-09 3874

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04