¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-04 2899

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Nowadays, most children prefer to spend several hours playing with electronic devices over doing more traditional leisure activities. What problem does this cause? What do you think are possible solutions?

In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
And addiction of devices is very Serious. I think devices are alike drugs.
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
electric things are not different.
We must caution addiction.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~! Have you had your lunch yet? I ate tofu this lunch! How about you? Thanks for doing your essay today! Keep it up!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
In honestly, electronic devices effect bad things more than good things.
>>> Honestly,  electronic devices have more bad effects than good things.
OR>>> 
Electronic technologies, in all honesty, tend to cause more harm than benefit.
We can know many informations but informations don't know whether they are correct or not.
>>> We can know a lot of information however, we don't know whether they are correct or not.
OR>>> We may know a great deal of information, yet we cannot be certain that it is accurate.
And addiction of devices is very Serious.
>>> Device addiction is very serious.
 I think devices are alike drugs.
>>> I think too much use of devices is like taking drugs. 
OR>>> I believe that using technology excessively is similar to using drugs. 
drugs can become painkiller but drugs such as weed too.
>>> Drugs like cannabis can also be made into painkillers.
electric things are not different.
>>> The same applies to electric items.
We must caution addiction.
>>> Addiction must be avoided. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
128921 Which artists/bands do you want to see at a music festival? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 4706
128920 How good are you at playing sports? How could you be better? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1868
128919 19.Jun.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128918 How would you describe a very relaxing vacation? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1913
128917 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 3010
128916 Opinion about transportation expense ±è*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2749
128915 If you are leader, is it important for you to consult other... ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128914 half day ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 1
128913 I think the death penalty should also be applied. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2339
128912 The way to maintain business call ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2582
128911 I like going together and going alone. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 2626
128910 inferiority complex ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 3018
128909 Which do you think is the best season for a vacation? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 0
128908 Homework ¿À*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-06-19 0
128907 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-18 2893
128906 Homework 6/16 ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-18 2
128905 How good are you at interacting with people face-to-face? ±è*±¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-18 1
128904 Homework ÇÔ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-18 1
128903 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-06-18 2478
128902 Writing Task 0616 À¯*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-06-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04