¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

How to help them

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ¼º*°æ
2023-09-13 2653

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Umm,,,i¡¯m sorry to hear that story. The most necessary thing for them is money. The most common way to earn money is working but there are no person who work extra hours. So i think to raise the money for them is the best way to help them. I as normal person don¡¯t have a lot of money to help them. But if people like me gather and donate to them a mall amount money, they can stand their feet on.

There is saying that don¡¯t give starving man fish instead teach how to catch a fish. Even though donating money for them is important, we have to teach how to earn money from work.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Your opinions were expressed well, Jun! I also believe that when helping, we should help wisely and practically.
-Faith-
Umm,,,i¡¯m sorry to hear that story. 
>> I feel sorry to hear that story. 
The most necessary thing for them is money. 
>> CORRECT
The most common way to earn money is working but there are no person who work extra hours. So i think to raise the money for them is the best way to help them. 
>> The most common way to earn money is by working, but there are no people who work extra hours, so raising money for them is the best way to help them. 
I as normal person don¡¯t have a lot of money to help them. But if people like me gather and donate to them a mall amount money, they can stand their feet on.
>> I, as a normal person, do not have a lot of money to help them, but if people like me gather a small amount of money to donate to them, they can get back on their feet.
There is saying that don¡¯t give starving man fish instead teach how to catch a fish. 
>> There is a saying that we should not give a starving man fish, instead teach them how to catch fish. 
Even though donating money for them is important, we have to teach how to earn money from work.
>> Even though donating money to them is important, we have to teach them how to earn money from work.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131542 HOMEWORK- 231009 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131541 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°My favorite... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 2
131540 My schedule ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 4400
131539 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 3182
131538 awkward situation when i experienced talking on the phone ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 2
131537 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 3244
131536 decline offer ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 4642
131535 Do you think online meetings or conferences are better or worse?... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131534 Why expensive restaurants have high price of food °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131533 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 4470
131532 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 3715
131531 9.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 1
131530 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 4893
131529 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-10 4299
131528 Do you think people should continue practicing their traditions... ¼Û*ÇÏ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 4004
131527 homework 10.09 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 5920
131526 where I want to fishing ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 5439
131525 My favorite emoji ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 4882
131524 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 4053
131523 What was the most special thing you did for a friend in the... ±è*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-09 4092

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04