¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 09.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-09-15 2351

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of doing cosmetic surgery?

These days, many people do a lot of cosmetic(plastic) surgery for their appearance or therapeutic purposes.
I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery is not good.
Because I watched many people cases of side effects from excessive surgery.
In addition, some people get mental problem because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
And, even if we asked responsibility to doctor, victim said that it is difficult to get compensation.
So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choice.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the disadvantages of doing cosmetic surgery?


These days, many people do a lot of cosmetic(plastic) surgery for their appearance or therapeutic purposes.
>> CORRECT!
I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery is not good.
>> CORRECT!
OR >> I think, moderate surgery is good but, excessive surgery isn't.
Because I watched many people cases of side effects from excessive surgery.
>> That's because I have watched many cases of people who experienced the side effects of excessive surgery.
In addition, some people get mental problem because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
>> In addition, some people get mental problems because of the cosmetic surgery's side effects.
And, even if we asked responsibility to doctor, victim said that it is difficult to get compensation.
>> And, even if we ask responsibility from the doctors, victims said that it is difficult to get for compensation.
So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choice.
>> So I think, if we want cosmetic surgery, we have to carefully choose.
OR >> So I think, if we want to undergo cosmetic surgery, we have to think more than twice.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130802 I think victims\' behavior will be limited if they are subjected... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3755
130801 Tipping ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2246
130800 If you met a tiger in your house, what would you do and/or say... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130799 I think experienced and flexible people ride the flow of change... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2486
130798 The wonderful holidays with my friends. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3125
130797 Does intelligence make people more attractive? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130796 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 2620
130795 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 1
130794 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-06 3690
130793 Homework °í*ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 2758
130792 Home work ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 3186
130791 Visitinf ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 2731
130790 The best way to revenge ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 4973
130789 Home work ±è*¶õ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 1
130788 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 3733
130787 homework 09.05 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 2865
130786 Would you rather be able to teleport or read minds? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 3631
130785 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 9
130784 What thing will you always carry in your bag? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 3336
130783 What risks are you willing to take to reach your dreams? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-05 2405

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04