¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

What¡¯s the worst natural disaster in your opinion?

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*¹Î
2023-09-16 2120

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think flood is the worst natural disaster. In our country at this summer, here had many disaster. Because cause of flood is environment problems. These day the earth has hot, so melt ice in the south pole.
In other case, our country have many basement house in Seoul. Because their is more than cheaper other apartments. because of the flood, they were died at last summer.
So the worst natural disaster is flood.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello Su,

I appreciate your homework discussing floods, and it reminded me of the recent incident in Korea. Your effort in addressing this topic is commendable, and your writing is improving. Keep up the good work, and stay motivated in your English studies. I'm here to support you

~Teacher Cathy

 

I think flood is the worst natural disaster.

>>I think a flood is the worst natural disaster.

In our country at this summer, here had many disaster. Because cause of flood is environment problems.

>>In our country, this summer, we experienced many disasters because the cause of floods is environmental problems.

These day the earth has hot, so melt ice in the south pole.

>> These days, the Earth has been hot, causing the ice in the South Pole to melt.

In other case, our country have many basement house in Seoul. Because their is more than cheaper other apartments. because of the flood, they were died at last summer.

>> In another case, our country has many basement houses in Seoul because they are cheaper than other apartments. Due to the floods, some people lost their lives last summer.

So the worst natural disaster is flood.

>> Therefore, the worst natural disaster is a flood.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131247 What animal best represents you? Why? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-23 1644
131246 Why do you think that people still vote for the wife or... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131245 Homework Àü*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 0
131244 homework 09.22 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2460
131243 What is your favorite video game? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2094
131242 Which family holiday is your favorite?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1809
131241 H.w. ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1873
131240 Dangers of having our own business ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1780
131239 How can South Korea make more kid zones or child friendly places? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131238 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2112
131237 HOMEWORK-230922 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 3
131236 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2358
131235 Drunk driving ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1717
131234 I prefer pescatarian because if ill be pescatarian i can eat... ±è*ÈÆ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2044
131233 Do you agree that companies should fulfill their social... ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2
131232 WRITING TASK: Who was the last lonely person you have listened... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131231 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1929
131230 mandatory ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2554
131229 ESSAY ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 1
131228 HOMEWORK ±è*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-22 2518

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04