¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-19 1711

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that people behave differently when they wear different clothes, while others do not believe that clothes influence the way people behave. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Clothes don't effect people's behave. The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ Thank you for showing your enthusiasm in learning the English language. I appreciate your effort! ^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Clothes don't effect people's behave.
>>> Clothes don't affect people's behavior.
 The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
>>> The factor which changes people's behavior is their thought.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
>>> But, if it is very short, humans forget their feelings.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.
>>> So, people's clothes don't change for recognition. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131146 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2928
131145 Can you think of a situation where being dependable is important? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 3228
131144 When a product is defective, is it better to get a refund or to... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1
131143 DIRECTIONS: Fill in the blanks with \'since\' or \'because\'. ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2
131142 9/18 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1769
131141 Homework JA*UNG CHUNG ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2192
131140 I think he\'s probably embarrassed because the situation he... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1885
131139 9/19 homework À±*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1745
131138 First of all, it\'s not our country. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2576
131137 It\'s an organ we need to live. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1703
131136 BOOKS ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2315
131135 fly a kite ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1
131134 My favorite animated movie/drama ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 2
131133 My favorite activity on the weekend? ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131132 What is my favorite movie genre? ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 1
131131 Can you share a memorable experience from a weekend trip with... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-19 0
131130 Friday Homework ÃÖ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1
131129 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1478
131128 To improve eating habits ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 1830
131127 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-18 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04