¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-19 1935

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: Some people believe that people behave differently when they wear different clothes, while others do not believe that clothes influence the way people behave. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Clothes don't effect people's behave. The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Lee~!^^ Thank you for showing your enthusiasm in learning the English language. I appreciate your effort! ^^ 
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Clothes don't effect people's behave.
>>> Clothes don't affect people's behavior.
 The factor that changes people's behave is thinking.
>>> The factor which changes people's behavior is their thought.
The reason that clothes are important is their mind is different.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
But, it is very short. human forget its feeling.
>>> But, if it is very short, humans forget their feelings.
So, people's clothes don't change recognize.
>>> So, people's clothes don't change for recognition. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130452 money or beauty °­*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1
130451 Appearance ¼º*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 3091
130450 What is the biggest change you\'d like to make to your life? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 2283
130449 homework Àå*¼® ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 3760
130448 What\'s the most difficult exam you\'ve ever taken? ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 1
130447 Answer the following in full setences. ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 3724
130446 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-24 3966
130445 Which types of people suffer the least discrimination? Are you... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2
130444 How do I know if I have difficulty concentrating? ±¸*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 0
130443 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2974
130442 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 0
130441 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2580
130440 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4222
130439 To Introduce traditional places in Korea. ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3099
130438 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 0
130437 homework 08.23 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3066
130436 Would you rather eat a banana or a carrot? Why? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 2654
130435 What are some acts of care that have a positive impact on the... Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3128
130434 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 4
130433 Would you rather ride a bicycle or go roller skating? Why? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-08-23 3309

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04