¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

today\'s homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*µµ
2023-09-24 1997

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

ESSAY: In many situations, people who break the law should be warned instead of punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I think people who break the law must be punished. Because punishments change people better.
I believe that people are not kind from first. People bear them thought law and punishments.
If they don't get punishment, they will be depreciate other people. The weak hurt and be snatched their precious things.
There are kind people in this world. someone sacrifice life my self to help other people. But the peple are not always kind.
They are educated good place and strict law.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lee~!^^ The holiday is just around the corner! I hope you already have plans how you'll spend it! Have a good one!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
I think people who break the law must be punished.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 Because punishments change people better.
>>>  Because punishments can change the people for the better.
I believe that people are not kind from first.
>>> I believe that people are not naturally.
 People bear them thought law and punishments.
>>>  People bear them through law and punishments.
If they don't get punishment, they will be depreciate other people.
>>> If they don't get punished, they will be depreciated by other people.
 The weak hurt and be snatched their precious things.
>>>  The weak could be hurt and could be victims of snatching. 
There are kind people in this world. 
>>> CORRECT~!^^
someone sacrifice life my self to help other people.
>>> Some people can sacrifice their lives to help other people. 
 But the peple are not always kind.
>>> However, not most people are kind. 
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
130642 Do we have a special responsibility to help others even though... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 2754
130641 What are the pros and cons of keeping a pet? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-31 1933
130640 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1497
130639 What do you think are the biggest challenges facing transgenders... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 3
130638 I like hanging out ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2
130637 If I apologize to my ex ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2910
130636 What is the best season to enjoy travelling in Korea? Why? ¹Ú*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2379
130635 To advise the other one ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1551
130634 homework 08.30 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2034
130633 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 0
130632 How important are books to you? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 6
130631 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 3
130630 Homework ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2555
130629 What is the status of gender equality in South Korea? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2
130628 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 0
130627 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 0
130626 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 0
130625 What would you do if you had really noisy neighbors? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 12
130624 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"The things I do... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 1
130623 Answer for My birthday ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-08-30 2697

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04