¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Cimer swimming pool

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¹Î
2023-09-25 2660

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I went to Cimer inceon swimming pool with my mother's friends son. The swimming pool I was going was a famous swimming pool for good services. When I enter the swimming pool, I just jumped into main pool and played at there. And than me and the 5 grade brother went to ride the water slide. There was two water slide and we ride that 2 waterslide together and alone. It was fun however, it was not scary and it doesn't have thrill so it was little bit boring.¤Ñafter we played at swimming pool, we went to jimjill room where we go into hot, cold room. We went to the most hot place and many other place. And one room was so good to sleep we slept for 1hour. It was really fun

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Jude! Good to know that you spent time with your mom's friend's son in the swimming pool. It seems like you really had a good time at the pool. I'm looking forward to hearing and reading more of your composition. Take care always. We will talk more in class. I will see you  then!~ T. Lyn
I went to Cimer inceon swimming pool with my mother's friends son. 
>>My mother's friend's son and I went to Cimer Incheon Swimming Pool.
The swimming pool I was going was a famous swimming pool for good services.
>>The swimming pool I went to was famous for its good service.
When I enter the swimming pool, I just jumped into main pool and played at there. 
>>When I got into the pool, I just jumped into the main pool and played there.
And than me and the 5 grade brother went to ride the water slide. 
>>And my younger brother, who was the 5th grade, went to go on the water slide.
There was two water slide and we ride that 2 waterslide together and alone. 
>>There were two waterslides and we rode them together.
It was fun however, it was not scary and it doesn't have thrill so it was little bit boring.
>>It was fun but it wasn't scary or thrilling so its was a bit boring.
¤Ñafter we played at swimming pool, we went to jimjill room where we go into hot, cold room. 
>>After we played at the swimming pool, we went to the Jimjill room where there is a hot and cold room.
We went to the most hot place and many other place. 
>>We went to the hottest place and in many other places.
And one room was so good to sleep we slept for 1hour. 
>>And one room was so comfortable that I slept for about an hour.
It was really fun
>>It was very enjoyable.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132803 How would the world be different if everyone on the planet... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132802 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132801 WRITING TASK: What are the benefits of buying expensive products? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132800 Would you rather grow wings to fly or gills to breathe underwater ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3561
132799 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4142
132798 What do you think is the most important part of learning English... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132797 I\'ve worked at BBQ. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132796 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132795 The cause of conflict ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 6142
132794 In most countries, women live an average of five to six years... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 5181
132793 Q. Do you think that productivity content on social media is... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 0
132792 Tell me about black even point. Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4168
132791 What do you think is the worst skin disease? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4788
132790 What would you do if guests ate something wrong involved with... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4852
132789 Why do authorities in Korea are not allowed to bring guns with... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132788 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4078
132787 Connection between a person\'s lifestyle and the duration of his... ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 4016
132786 Never ling ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 5430
132785 What¡¯s the biggest threat to society, knowledge or ignorance? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 2
132784 One policy that I have failed to follow. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-27 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04