¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*ȯ
2023-10-02 2799

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I can not say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is..
Anyway I really enjoy spending my all of time alone in coffee shop.
That is my great and favorite holiday even though it is just a day.
I usually talk too much with customers and serve them.
So I need time to recharge myself in coffee shop during the holiday.

And there are many logo contests everyday.
I like making ideas and drawing logoes for the contests.
Finally I join it and submitt the logo.
I got win three times .

I like to have my time alone and draw logoes.
That is my favorite holiday.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Han!
Thank you for writing. Reading your composition is really interesting as it talks sincerely about you. It's nice to know that you have that kind of hobby to recharge yourself after your busy days at work. And people need to find the activities that they would love doing to balance work and life. Have a great one!~
-Chammy
I can not say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is..
>>I cannot say exactly when and what my favorite holiday is...
Anyway I really enjoy spending my all of time alone in coffee shop.

>> Anyway, I really enjoy spending all of my time alone in a coffee shop.

That is my great and favorite holiday even though it is just a day.
>>Correct
I usually talk too much with customers and serve them.
>>Correct
So I need time to recharge myself in coffee shop during the holiday.
>> So I need time to recharge myself in a coffee shop during the holiday.
And there are many logo contests everyday.

>>And there are many logo contests every day

I like making ideas and drawing logoes for the contests.
>> I like making ideas and drawing logos for the contests.

Finally I join it and submitt the logo.

>> Finally, I joined and submitted the logo.

I got win three times .
>> I won three times
I like to have my time alone and draw logoes.

>> I like to have my time alone and draw logos.

That is my favorite holiday.
>>Correct
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131438 Essay - consequences from birthrate decrease in future (1) È«*Ç¥ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 3348
131437 Why I like brand clothes ·ù*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 6
131436 Can you share a specific situation where a weakness of yours had... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-05 2738
131435 Instructions: Use the expression in the sentence: ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 6
131434 homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 4078
131433 homework 10.04 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 3437
131432 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 0
131431 Would a harsher punishment really make criminals fear the system? ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 1
131430 What would you do to make learning fun?ᩚ ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 3935
131429 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 3041
131428 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 3754
131427 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 1
131426 Do you enjoy working in groups or alone? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 4139
131425 My top 3 priorities are... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 3253
131424 If you are a tourist of another country, how do you behave? ÀÌ*ÁÖ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 1
131423 What do you think of children¡¯s literature? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 2
131422 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 0
131421 Is the issue of healthy eating important to you? À¯* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 3790
131420 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°My most... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 2
131419 Where do you think is the best place to live in the world? Why? ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-04 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04