¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-10-16 2679

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A hobby is having time just for yourself. When you focus on your inner interests and take the time to enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and feel satisfied, which gives you vitality in your work and life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again, Eliana!
Your diligence is highly appreciated. You are one of those students who love doing your homework. Keep it up, all your effort you do gives way to your great improvement.
Aki~

A hobby is having time just for yourself. 
>>> Having a hobby means having time to yourself. It's a way to relax, unwind, and do something you enjoy

When you focus on your inner interests and take the time to enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and feel satisfied, which gives you vitality in your work and life.
>>>  CORRECT!
OR  >>> When you take the time to focus on your inner interests and enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and satisfaction. This leads to vitality in both your work and personal life.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133647 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"How do you show... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 0
133646 My challenge °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2401
133645 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 0
133644 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 0
133643 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1757
133642 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 0
133641 What is your favorite subject in school? Why do you like... ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 3672
133640 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1857
133639 diary ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2
133638 When should we accept or reject other people\'s opinions about... ÀÌ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2942
133637 What do you think of skydiving as a hobby? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2519
133636 1/2 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2138
133635 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2
133634 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2
133633 seafood ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2474
133632 When should we say yes and when should we say no? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 3908
133631 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1
133630 Grammar Practice ±è*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1935
133629 homwork ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 1
133628 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-01-04 2799

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04