¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ½Å*È­
2023-10-16 2583

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

A hobby is having time just for yourself. When you focus on your inner interests and take the time to enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and feel satisfied, which gives you vitality in your work and life.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi again, Eliana!
Your diligence is highly appreciated. You are one of those students who love doing your homework. Keep it up, all your effort you do gives way to your great improvement.
Aki~

A hobby is having time just for yourself. 
>>> Having a hobby means having time to yourself. It's a way to relax, unwind, and do something you enjoy

When you focus on your inner interests and take the time to enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and feel satisfied, which gives you vitality in your work and life.
>>>  CORRECT!
OR  >>> When you take the time to focus on your inner interests and enjoy them, you gain peace of mind and satisfaction. This leads to vitality in both your work and personal life.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132811 Have you ever hlped anyone? If yes, write about it. If not, then... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132810 Do you think leaders of the country must consider historical... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132809 Lost ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132808 homework 11.28 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2275
132807 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4154
132806 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132805 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3386
132804 Money ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3558
132803 How would the world be different if everyone on the planet... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132802 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Do you think... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2
132801 WRITING TASK: What are the benefits of buying expensive products? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132800 Would you rather grow wings to fly or gills to breathe underwater ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 2747
132799 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3037
132798 What do you think is the most important part of learning English... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4
132797 I\'ve worked at BBQ. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132796 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132795 The cause of conflict ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4557
132794 In most countries, women live an average of five to six years... ±è*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 4054
132793 Q. Do you think that productivity content on social media is... ±è*Áø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 0
132792 Tell me about black even point. Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3244

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04