¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-10-26 3672

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?

In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Why do you think people drink alcoholic drinks?


In my opinion, the reason why there are many people drink alcoholic because, alcoholic to fill the empty atmosphere.
>> In my opinion, the reason why there are many people who drink alcoholic beverages is because alcohol fills empty atmosphere.
Sometimes, I feel empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
>> Sometimes, I feel an empty atmosphere when I eat meal with my friends, family or alone.
So some people want to fill this atmosphere use to alcohol.
>> So some people want to fill this atmosphere with the help of alcohol.
Or, their drink to raise the mood.
>> Or, they drink to raise the mood.
Because when we get drunk, it usually turns passionate.
>> It's because when we get drunk, we suddenly become passionate.
I think that's why many people look for alcohol for the atmosphere.
>> CORRECT!
But, I think it's only good when we drink in moderation.
>> CORRECT!

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131694 What steps are you currently taking to work towards your... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 3655
131693 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 3527
131692 Thomas S. Szasz said: \"Suicide is a fundamental human right.... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 5
131691 What does a perfect day include? What is the weather like? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131690 homework 10.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 3374
131689 My least favorite music ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 4428
131688 What\'s your thought on the article, in particular, the man... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1
131687 What three things can you do today to help nature? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1
131686 My future house ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 3977
131685 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131684 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131683 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 4537
131682 WRITING TASK: How can we maintain our healthy routine? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 5
131681 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about ¡°Do you want to... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 2
131680 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 4335
131679 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 3585
131678 What daily activities help you to be creative? ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 3670
131677 How do you handle a situation when someone\'s lame excuse can be... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 3563
131676 What are the usual excuses you made when you were a student and... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 4007
131675 Is it important to adjust to another person\'s personality? Why... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 4169

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04