¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

According to a survey conducted, Korea has the highest cases of stomach cancer among OECD countries.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2023-10-31 3164

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I searched the Internet for answers. I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.

Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.

When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. German food was too salty to eat for me.
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. There was less salt compared to Korean food.

I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ms. Tina!

I searched the Internet for answers.
>>> correct   
I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. 
>>>  correct    
One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.
>>> correct
>>>  OR: One of the reasons of having stomach cancer is consuming salty food. 
Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. 
>>>   correct    
>>> ORKorean traditional condiments such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty.  (CONDIMENT: a substance such as salt or ketchup that is used to add flavor to food.)
Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.
>>> On it's own, each is not a dangerous ingredient at all. But if you use them together when you cook, it makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, they cancel out each other's salty or spicy taste.  
When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. 
>>> correct  
German food was too salty to eat for me.
>>> correct  
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. 
>>> correct  
There was less salt compared to Korean food.
>>>correct   
I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
>>> I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost all Koreans are like me.  
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.
>>>   Therefore, I think the reason it is more common for Koreans can be due to the salty food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132951 WRITING TASK: Why do you think many people are interested in... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 3
132950 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 0
132949 A Famous Person You Admire ÀÌ*¼º ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 4334
132948 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 2501
132947 Describe a sunset to someone who cannot see it. ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 3258
132946 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 3791
132945 What advice do you have for young people to avoid or prevent... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 0
132944 Felt Lucky ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 3388
132943 What are three things to remember to have a good telephone... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 0
132942 Tell me about residence hotel. Can you tell me any roles and... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 4769
132941 Tell me about MICE industry. Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-04 2289
132940 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 2671
132939 During the first meeting ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 1866
132938 My exotic food that I tasted ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 2612
132937 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 2
132936 Improving English ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 3
132935 Aging population ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 1
132934 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 4026
132933 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 1
132932 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04