¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

According to a survey conducted, Korea has the highest cases of stomach cancer among OECD countries.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÌ*Èñ
2023-10-31 3043

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I searched the Internet for answers. I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.

Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.

When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. German food was too salty to eat for me.
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. There was less salt compared to Korean food.

I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for this Ms. Tina!

I searched the Internet for answers.
>>> correct   
I have found one of the reasons why many Koreans are diagnosed with stomach cancer. 
>>>  correct    
One of the reason of stomach cancer is salty food.
>>> correct
>>>  OR: One of the reasons of having stomach cancer is consuming salty food. 
Korean traditional food bases such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty. 
>>>   correct    
>>> ORKorean traditional condiments such as red pepper paste, soybean paste and soy sauce are very salty.  (CONDIMENT: a substance such as salt or ketchup that is used to add flavor to food.)
Each is not a dangerous ingredient at all, but you use them together when you cook, which makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, it relieves each other's salty or spicy taste.
>>> On it's own, each is not a dangerous ingredient at all. But if you use them together when you cook, it makes the food more salty, and on the other hand, they cancel out each other's salty or spicy taste.  
When I visited Germany, I had a hard time because it was difficult to eat German food. 
>>> correct  
German food was too salty to eat for me.
>>> correct  
What surprised me so much was the amount of salt in German food. 
>>> correct  
There was less salt compared to Korean food.
>>>correct   
I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost Korean do like me.
>>> I love salty, spicy and sweet food and I think almost all Koreans are like me.  
Therefore, I think the reason that has the biggest influence on Koreans can be the salty food.
>>>   Therefore, I think the reason it is more common for Koreans can be due to the salty food.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132117 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 4095
132116 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 2764
132115 How important is communication in your work? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 2697
132114 Homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 4
132113 Generally, are you good at speaking? How can you say so? If not,... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 3200
132112 Is there something fun that you haven¡¯t been able to do yet? Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 0
132111 1.Nov 2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1
132110 Have you ever stumbled upon a job posting in a completely... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1
132109 homework_231101 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1
132108 What are your main responsibilities in your current job? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 3929
132107 Are workers more productive at home? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-02 1
132106 HOMEWORK -231101 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 1
132105 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 3433
132104 What is your favorite thing to do on social media? Explain why. ±è*¼ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2700
132103 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2
132102 homework 11.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 3599
132101 I am half in favor of and half against the content of the... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 2889
132100 I don\'t think I\'m going to ask questions because homeless... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 3379
132099 Providing the things you need ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 3981
132098 I think all movies are the best. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-11-01 4787

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04