¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Á¤*¾È
2023-11-01 3308

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. They can also experience how adults live the world.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Soo An!
Thank you for trying today.
You were very responsive in your answer.
I look forward to our class!^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I think that young child are engaged in paid work is wrong. 
>> I think that young children engaging in paid work is wrong. 
They are not form their personality and should learn the basic knowledge. 
>> They have not formed their own personality yet and they should learn  basic knowledge first.
However, I think middle or high school students can earn the money by working. 
>> However, I think middle or high school students can earn money by working. 
They can get wisdom and responsibility by working with people. 
>> They can get wisdom and a sense of responsibility by working with people. 
They can also experience how adults live the world.
>> They can also experience how adults live in the world.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131310 Homework Á¤*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 0
131309 Best time to visit my place ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 2918
131308 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 2600
131307 HOMEWORK-230926 ¾ç*¾Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 2
131306 How would you describe your English communication skills? Á¶*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1
131305 natural disasters ÀÌ*°æ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1748
131304 The advantage of living in the countryside ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 4382
131303 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 3
131302 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 3600
131301 harass ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 3370
131300 DIRECTIONS: Make a sentence using the following words: 1. slip... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 2705
131299 14.Sep.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 1
131298 19.Sep.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 0
131297 Is it important to be bilingual in the workplace? Why or why not? ±è*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-09-26 2
131296 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 2668
131295 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 0
131294 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 0
131293 If you could travel to any country solely to try their unique... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131292 What\'s your thought on parenting books and videos? Would you... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 1
131291 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-09-25 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04