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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
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담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
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homework

작성자: 최*�
2023-11-02 3092

회원님의 영작문

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having "career parents"?

There are many career parents these days.
I think it's reason there are more up educational levels and don't matter of jobs gender, unlike in the past.
In my opinion, the biggest advantage of career parent will be more stability in financial problems in the family.
And each parents can continue to their jobs, so they can continue their career.
In the case of single income, one of the parents have to stop work.
But career parents also have a disadvantage.
I think the disadvantage of career parents problem of their children's education and growth.
There are many daycare centers these days, so they send their children there from baby.
Sometimes it's not good idea because they spend less time with their children.
But, many parents to choose for continue to their career of job.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Good day, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
What are the advantages and disadvantages of having "career parents"?

There are many career parents these days.
>> CORRECT!
I think it's reason there are more up educational levels and don't matter of jobs gender, unlike in the past.
>> I think the reason is that there are parents with higher educational levels and don't care about the jobs related to gender, unlike in the past.
In my opinion, the biggest advantage of career parent will be more stability in financial problems in the family.
>> In my opinion, the biggest advantage of career parents will be the financial stability for the family.
And each parents can continue to their jobs, so they can continue their career.
>> Each parents can continue with their jobs, so they can continue with their career.
In the case of single income, one of the parents have to stop work.
>> In the case of single income, one of the parents has to stop working.
But career parents also have a disadvantage.
>> CORRECT!
I think the disadvantage of career parents problem of their children's education and growth.
>> I think the disadvantage of career parents would be their children's education and growth.
There are many daycare centers these days, so they send their children there from baby.
>> There are many daycare centers these days, so they send their children there.
Sometimes it's not good idea because they spend less time with their children.
>> Sometimes it's not a good idea because they spend less time with their children.
But, many parents to choose for continue to their career of job.
>> But, many parents choose to continue doing their jobs.

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지난 날짜에도 게시 할 수 있습니다.

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01
교정 내용은 최대 1,000byte까지 올릴 수 있습니다.

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파일에 대한 첨삭은 불가능 합니다.

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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
완료 되는 것을 원칙으로 하고 있습니다.
03
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04

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