¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

retirement

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±Ç*Èñ
2023-11-06 5658

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

It is not a good thing that human lifespan become longer than ealier.

Longer lifespan causes many imbalances in our life.

As we get older, we face financial and health difficuities in reality.

We know that we should prepare for our old age, but we don't have so much afford it.

If we are healthy, we should do any kinds of work after retirement even social services as we we can do. .

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your homework, Lily!

You're doing great!

-Hanna ^^

It is not a good thing that human lifespan become longer than ealier.

>>It is not a good thing that human lifespans are becoming longer than before. 
Longer lifespan causes many imbalances in our life.

>>Correct.
As we get older, we face financial and health difficuities in reality.

>>Correct.
We know that we should prepare for our old age, but we don't have so much afford it.

>>While we understand the importance of preparing for old age, affording it can be a challenge.
If we are healthy, we should do any kinds of work after retirement even social services as we we can do. .

>>If we are healthy, we should consider engaging in various kinds of work after retirement, including social services, to the best of our abilities.


¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
131703 Things for a trip ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 3975
131702 How does military service impact an individual\'s personal and... ÀÌ*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 4971
131701 development of IT Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131700 When hiking ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 3470
131699 What are the customary greetings and behaviors for... ½Å*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 4650
131698 homework Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 4532
131697 Do you prefer sudden appointments or appointments set a week in... ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 2
131696 13.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131695 16.Oct.2023 ±è*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 1
131694 What steps are you currently taking to work towards your... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 3751
131693 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-17 3593
131692 Thomas S. Szasz said: \"Suicide is a fundamental human right.... ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 5
131691 What does a perfect day include? What is the weather like? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131690 homework 10.16 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 3425
131689 My least favorite music ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 4521
131688 What\'s your thought on the article, in particular, the man... ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1
131687 What three things can you do today to help nature? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 1
131686 My future house ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 4027
131685 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0
131684 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-10-16 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04