¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*¿ì
2023-11-07 5087

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Hi, T.Donna.
Today is the coldest day of this autumn.
There were only few patients and clients, so I enjoyed this peaceful moment.
Maybe, Dr. MJ will be frustrated tomorrow about today's profit and number of patients.
He is now enjoying his day off without awareness of this terrible situation.
I guess this situation is caused by sharply decreased temperature outside.
Anyway, I was so pleased to talk with you about the drama "Moving".
As you know, I don't have enough time to spend watching media.
Since I decided to spend more time with my wife, I tried to watch dramas and movies and play games together.
I really hope it will work efficiently to improve our relationship.
Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heros who can see through, who has a lightening power.
They have very special ablility, but they look so weak.
Lightening man helped at the important moment, but his role was very restricted.
Korea video always shows an empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.
See you.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hello, Dr. Kim!

As the days get colder and colder, I hope that your profit goes higher and higher. As you mentioned, Dr. MJ will take care of this. Hope that he does not disappoint. ^^

First of all, as I was checking your homework, as you can see below, your sentences were almost all correct all the way down. Well done on that part. Moreover, the length and depth of your sentences are longer as well. You used adverbs, adjectives, and verbs appropriately as well as a good set of vocabulary. Carry on!

In truth, I also do not watch a lot of drama. I thought it is a waste of time since there are a lot of work to do. However, there are certain dramas and movies worth our time and when we like them, we binge-watch. As a result, we may lack sleep.

Perhaps when we watch a drama, we can put ourselves in the situation of the characters and pretend we are them. After all, our everyday life is also surrounded by drama with our family relations, work conditions, and the many functions we have in society.

Thank you for your time, effort, and diligence!

-T. Donna~

Hi, T.Donna.
>> Correct!

Today is the coldest day of this autumn.
>> Correct!

There were only few patients and clients, so I enjoyed this peaceful moment.
>> Correct!

Maybe, Dr. MJ will be frustrated tomorrow about today's profit and number of patients.
>> Correct!

He is now enjoying his day off without awareness of this terrible situation.
>> Correct!

I guess this situation is caused by sharply decreased temperature outside.
>> Correct!

Anyway, I was so pleased to talk with you about the drama "Moving".
>> Correct!

As you know, I don't have enough time to spend watching media.
>> Correct!

Since I decided to spend more time with my wife, I tried to watch dramas and movies and play games together.
>> Correct!

I really hope it will work efficiently to improve our relationship.
>> Correct!

Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heros who can see through, who has a lightening power.
>> Correct!
Or: Regarding my homework, I felt bad about the heroes who can see through, the one who has a lightening power.

They have very special ablility, but they look so weak.
>> They have very special abilities, but they look so weak.

Lightening man helped at the important moment, but his role was very restricted.
>> Correct!

Korea video always shows an empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.
>> Korean video always shows empathy, and that's a strong point, I guess.

See you.
>> Correct!
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133569 I\'m watching Netflix while eating tangerines while lying on the... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 2181
133568 What are your goals for the New Year? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1
133567 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Would you like... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1
133566 What are your New Year\'s resolutions? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 3577
133565 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 2569
133564 What is the best place you have visited? ¹Ú*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 2551
133563 New year\'s resolution. ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 1
133562 12.28 homework ³ë*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 3
133561 . ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 3
133560 homework ¼Õ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 4678
133559 my introduce ±è*¿­ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-02 4
133558 I think that is good thing. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 4033
133557 I want to go on a world trip if I can travel anywhere in the... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2993
133556 I don\'t know. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 3274
133555 I wouldn\'t want it. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2683
133554 >> How much do you value your privacy? ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2
133553 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 467
133552 Apologies ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 3
133551 Gadgets ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 2
133550 Job ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2024-01-01 3

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04