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영작교정 게시판

영어 말하기와 쓰기를 동시에 잡는다!

자신 있게 쓸 수 있는 영작문을 위해 파워잉글리쉬 수업을 수강하시는
회원님들께 무료로 제공해드리는 부가 서비스로, 전문 분야를 제외한 자유 주제
또는 강사님이 내주시는 과제를 회원님께서 영어로 작성해주시면,
담당 강사 님께서 ‘문법 오류 교정’ 과 ‘더 나은 영어식 표현’으로 교정해주는
서비스 입니다.

What jobs in your country are considered to be good jobs? Why?

작성자: 김*경
2023-11-10 6826

회원님의 영작문

First, public employees are very popular among job seekers here. As the instability of job security is getting rampant across the board, a large amount of job seekers have been surging into the government officials’ job openings. And this outrageous happening may be attributed to the inclination of young generation for a balance between job and life.
Second, medical workers get much attention from students considering their majors in college. Medical workers, such as doctors, vets, and nurses are considered to be high-salary and secure professions for them.
Lastly, historically, we Koreans have been influenced by Confucianism values which place greater importance on studying scriptures than technology and engineering. I am afraid that Koreans still despise the engineers working in the field.
I am concerned about this strange trend in which only some occupations are on the front burner because society needs various jobs to develop across the board.

강사님의 첨삭교정 내용

Hello Steve!
Great job on completing your homework. You've given a very thorough and commendable answer. Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
^^ T. Ara


First, public employees are very popular among job seekers here. 
>>> CORRECT!
As the instability of job security is getting rampant across the board, a large amount of job seekers have been surging into the government officials’ job openings. 
>>> CORRECT!
And this outrageous happening may be attributed to the inclination of young generation for a balance between job and life.
>>> And this happening may be attributed to the inclination of the young generation for a balance between job and life.
Second, medical workers get much attention from students considering their majors in college. 
>>> CORRECT!
Medical workers, such as doctors, vets, and nurses are considered to be high-salary and secure professions for them.
>>> CORRECT!
Lastly, historically, we Koreans have been influenced by Confucianism values which place greater importance on studying scriptures than technology and engineering. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR>>> Lastly, historically, Koreans have been influenced by Confucian values that prioritize studying scriptures over technology and engineering.
I am afraid that Koreans still despise the engineers working in the field.
>>> CORRECT!
I am concerned about this strange trend in which only some occupations are on the front burner because society needs various jobs to develop across the board.
>>> I am concerned about this trend in which only some occupations are on the front burner because society needs various jobs to develop across the board.
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첨삭이 가능하며,

올려주신 글의 강사님 첨삭은 24시간 이내에
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03
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