¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Hardest working out

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*ȯ
2023-11-20 3683

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

When I joined the marathon first time last year It was the hardest working out ever. It was summer and I have ran only 5 km. However I joined 10 km marathon. There were so many hills. I am not sure If I joined that marathon just now It would be easy.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Thomas! 

Running needs some good training and technique to beat the time that you want to clock in. Of course, you want to be better than your last performance so you have to be on great condition physically and mentally as you run many kilometers.

Since I have never ran a marathon, I guess the degree of difficultly is tremendous and I might roll over the side of the street after just running a kilometer.

You have written a very good composition, keep it up! Study my suggestions below.

See you on Wednesday. 

-T. Donna~

When I joined the marathon first time last year It was the hardest working out ever. 
>> When I joined the marathon first time last year it was the hardest work out ever. 

It was summer and I have ran only 5 km. However I joined 10 km marathon. 
>> It was summer and I have ran only 5 kms. However, I joined the10 km marathon. 

There were so many hills. 
>> Correct!

I am not sure If I joined that marathon just now It would be easy.
>>  I am not sure if I joined that marathon now maybe it would be easier.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132533 homework 11.17 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 6003
132532 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4928
132531 What year do you want to visit if you have a Time Machine and... ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4978
132530 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4863
132529 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2
132528 Why do you think some people are not interested in working in... Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4566
132527 Healthy Food And Unhealthy Food ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4010
132526 homework ±è*¸° ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132525 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4221
132524 What do you know about Australia\'s natural wonders? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3922
132523 Why is it that some people act differently in front of others? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3230
132522 What are the dangers of using SNS? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3040
132521 What do you think parents worry about when their kids start... ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 2351
132520 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132519 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 0
132518 Why do you think there are so many different languages in the... À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132517 test Te*002 ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3
132516 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3528
132515 In your opinion, what are the other problems in your country... ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 4354
132514 Do you think Korea has good or bad politics? How can you say so? ÀÌ*ÅÂ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-17 3544

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04