¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 11.20

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-11-20 5874

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?

I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
This is the first step for own business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think anyone can start their own business?


I don't know much about business yet, but I think it's not difficult to start.
>> CORRECT!
Instead, it's important how many long maintain business.
>> Instead, what's important is how long you have maintained the business.
Many business people say that majority of private businesses fail within five years.
>> CORRECT!
So, we need basic knowledge that for our business don't go fail.
>> So, we need basic knowledge in order for our business to not fail.
The business man told we have to learn the basic working at the relevant workplace before starting the we want business.
>> The businessmen tell us we have to learn the basics when working at the relevant workplace before starting the business we want.
This is the first step for own business.
>> This is the first step for owning a business.
To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time
without knowledge of the business.
>> To sum it up, anyone can start their own business, but it will be difficult to maintain it for a long time without knowledge about the business.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135058 >> Give an example of a superstitious belief in Korea and... ÀÌ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135057 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 1
135056 HOMEWORK ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135055 homework ÀÌ*¼ö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2728
135054 doctors ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2618
135053 I heard that some schools are shutting down in Korea, what does... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135052 What is your culture when you a neighbor just moved to your... ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135051 Talk about your lunch in school. Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2488
135050 Homework ±è*´Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 3191
135049 Amount of money ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2254
135048 Describe an activity that keeps you healthy while you enjoy. ¿À*¼Ò ¿Ï·á 2024-02-28 2
135047 homework ÀÓ*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 2033
135046 Gossip ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 4148
135045 Homework ÀÌ*Çý ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 3
135044 What hobby would you like to try? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 2
135043 Homework Àå*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 2529
135042 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 0
135041 homework 02.27 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 2530
135040 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 26
135039 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-02-27 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04