¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

I think it\'s useless.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: À±*Çý
2023-11-27 3704

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think it's useless.
I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Da Hye, 

I wanted to express my appreciation for the thoughtful essay you wrote on this topic. Your perspective on the purpose of taxes and your concerns about the current economic landscape in Korea were well-articulated. 

You raised an important point about the aging society and the uncertainty of future support. Your ability to express your thoughts clearly and concisely is commendable. It's evident that you've put careful consideration into your essay, and I value the unique insights you've shared. 

Engaging with your ideas has given me a deeper understanding of your perspective, and I encourage you to continue exploring and expressing your thoughts in this manner. It's through thoughtful discussions like these that we gain a better understanding of the world around us. 

Keep up the excellent work, Da Hye! I look forward to reading more of your reflections in the future. 

~Teacher Cathy 

 

I think it's useless.  

>>CORRECT 

OR>>I think it is pointless. 

I think the purpose of the tax is to pay the country first so that I can live when I don't have a future job, but it's a waste of all the money I give to the government now because Korea is an aging society these days, and I'm not sure if there will be young people who will pay for our country even when I get older. 

>>I believe the purpose of taxes is to contribute to the country, ensuring a future for individuals who may not have jobs. However, I feel a sense of unease as I contribute money to the government, particularly because Korea is currently an aging society. I am uncertain whether there will be enough young people to support our country when I grow older. 

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138545 2024.07.16 ³²*·Ê ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2003
138544 sacrifice ÀÓ*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2690
138543 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2
138542 How do you convince yourself not to give up? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2109
138541 What is the most important sense for you among the five senses?... Â÷*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2338
138540 What kind of TV programs do Korean kids watch these days?... Â÷*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2281
138539 Ice cream ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2279
138538 Has your boss ever told you to do something unethical? Did you... ±è*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2754
138537 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2151
138536 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2371
138535 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2332
138534 homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 4
138533 Today\'s homework ÀÌ*µµ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2346
138532 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2342
138531 Fun to watch a movie ÇÑ*ÀÚ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 6
138530 Sports I can play ±è*¹Î ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2148
138529 How often do you check your appearance in the mirror? How often... ¹Ú*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 1916
138528 What\'s your most valued possession? ÀÌ*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 3
138527 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 2146
138526 Q) What is the best way to help nature? ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-07-16 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04