¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The ideal society

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*Áø
2023-12-14 3123

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I bellieve that it is natural for public to express interests and respects to someone in specific status in ideal society since status is a symbol of efforts.
However, we need to express credit for status not belonging at birth but achieving over time.
Someone who has status can advise to public related to the ways for achieving status and convey various informations with his own insights.
Understanding the contents and reflecting our life is crucial for us to gain several statuses.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Thank you for your homework, Yu Jin!

Keep moving forward!

-Hanna ^^

I bellieve that it is natural for public to express interests and respects to someone in specific status in ideal society since status is a symbol of efforts.

>>I believe that in an ideal society, it is natural for the public to express interest and respect for individuals with specific status, as status often symbolizes dedicated efforts. 
However, we need to express credit for status not belonging at birth but achieving over time.

>>However, it is important to acknowledge and give credit to individuals who have achieved their status over time, rather than simply inheriting it at birth.
Someone who has status can advise to public related to the ways for achieving status and convey various informations with his own insights.

>>Those who have attained a certain status can offer valuable advice to the public on ways to achieve similar status and share various insights.
Understanding the contents and reflecting our life is crucial for us to gain several statuses.

>>Understanding the content and applying it to our lives is crucial for us to attain and embody various statuses.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132932 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 1
132931 Write about a time that you sowed concern to someone in your... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 1
132930 WRITING TASK: What is the best way to avoid making mistakes? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 5
132929 Changes ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 4
132928 Public transport ¿°*¿¹ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-03 3
132927 Help me....the introverted person.... °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132926 How do you usually celebrate your birthday? À±*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2
132925 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2613
132924 From what age is it okay to start dating? ½Å*¼· ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 3593
132923 If you could spend Christmas anywhere in the world, where would... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 3169
132922 What do you look forward to this December? ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-02 2321
132921 How do you pick a restaurant to go eat at? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3241
132920 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3483
132919 Stress affects human health a lot. How do you manage youtr... ÀÌ*¿ø ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3
132918 homework 12.01 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3982
132917 My recent hobby ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 3187
132916 Parties ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 5787
132915 What is your favorite part of where you live? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 2852
132914 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 5145
132913 Homework ½Å*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-01 4282

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04