¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 12.15

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2023-12-15 2674

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?

I want to learn a lot of skills
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency(virtual Currency)
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Which skills would you like to have?


I want to learn a lot of skills.
>> CORRECT!
The skills I want to have are speak English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
>> The skills I want to have are speaking English like a native speaker, artistic sense, and investment skills.
Among them, I want get investment skills.
>> Among them, I want to have investment skills.
These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes invest cryptocurrency (virtual Currency)
>> These days, many people make their money through investing stocks, banks, and sometimes investing in cryptocurrency (virtual Currency).
I'm so happy to the delusion of successful investment technology.
>> I'm so happy about the development of successful investment technology.
But, investment technology is not easy as thought.
>> 
But, investment technology is not easy as I thought.
Many people said, investment is " High risky investment and high return".
>> Many people said, "there's a high return in high-risk investments."
It's means that if I make a risky investment, I get a lot or lose a lot.
>> CORRECT!
Sometimes I think investment looks similar that gambling.
>> Sometimes I think investment looks similar to gambling.
So, if I have a good investment skill, I want have stable investment sense.
>> So, if I have a good investment skill, I want to have a stable investment sense.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
133139 Comfort food ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2345
133138 Homework ÇÏ*¸² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2
133137 homework 12.11 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 1982
133136 Are there any hobbies or interests that consistently excite you... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 3391
133135 Homework ÀÌ*È­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 3198
133134 What animals don¡¯t you like as pets? Why? ÃÖ*ÇÑ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2347
133133 What is the hardest about being a kid? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 1730
133132 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2207
133131 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 1
133130 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2296
133129 What is the most popular winter destination in Korea? ±è*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2
133128 What do you usually do during the weekend? ¹®*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 3041
133127 Do you think parents look forward to their cute little children... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 3
133126 homework Á¤*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 0
133125 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 3
133124 Should parents limit the number of activities their kids... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 0
133123 WRITING TASK: What are the disadvantages of collecting items?... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2
133122 Problem about vocabulary ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2661
133121 I am offended by rude people, but I try to be as kind as... À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2456
133120 I think it has changed with the times. À±*Çý ¿Ï·á 2023-12-11 2974

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04