¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

Homework

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ±è*´ã
2023-12-20 2858

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life. Now we are in an information-oriented society. So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn. Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living. Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money. Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Lina!

Good work on your essay homework.

You were able to show good comprehension of my question by providing a relevant answer.

You can improve your writing by using key vocabulary and/or summarizing the major ideas in your own words.

Overall, you did well in your composition.

Good job Lina! :)

- Teacher Mari 



I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our life.
I think ¡®learning¡¯ is the most important thing in our lives.
Now we are in an information-oriented society.
CORRECT!
OR >> We now live in a society that values information.
So, to not being eliminated from the society, we have to learn.

So, to not be eliminated from society, we have to learn.

Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money for living.
Also, humans should work to live a life. However, we need money to live.
Therefore, I think ¡®Learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Therefore, I think ¡®learning¡¯ is important to earn money.

Of course there are many jobs which don¡¯t need knowledges, but a large-income learner always try to learn.

Of course, many jobs don¡¯t require knowledge, but a large-income learner always tries to learn.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132854 Should military service be compulsory? Why? ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 2
132853 What strategies do you find most effective in addressing... ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2023-11-30 4178
132852 Homework ±è*¼­ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2
132851 What pricey that I want ÃÖ*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 4833
132850 homework 11.29 ÃÖ*Ç ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 3270
132849 How do you choose/pick a restaurant to go to? ÃÖ*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 3281
132848 What advice would you give to a student who says he/she is not... ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1
132847 Direct questions or indirect ones ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 3642
132846 Would you rather go to the doctor or the dentist? ¼Û*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 3037
132845 WRITING TASK: How can you be a savvy consumer? ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 4
132844 Homework ÇÏ*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2
132843 homework Á¤*¾È ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0
132842 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is it important... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0
132841 Homework ±è* ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0
132840 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 4528
132839 Do parents treat all their kids the same way, or do they treat... ÀÓ*È£ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 4201
132838 What I need right now. ±è*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0
132837 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 4757
132836 When I went to the cinema the first time ¹Ú*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 4172
132835 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04