¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone is a negative development.

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: Àå*¿ø
2023-12-27 2866

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and appropriate time. Then it could be a positive development. However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember friends' phone numbers.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi there Ji Won~!^^ Thank you for doing your homework! Enjoy learning spoken and written English! Way to go!
>>> TEACHER GEMMA
Using the Internet and phone could be a good way if we use these in the right way and in appropriate time.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
Then it could be a positive development.
>>> CORRECT~!^^
 However, self-regulating their usage time is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
>>>  However, self-regulating their time of usage is very difficult and they make us convenient. 
So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our power of memory could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember friends' phone numbers.
>>> So, we can lose our time easily due to them, also our  memory skills could be reduced because if we use a phone, we don't need to remember our friends' phone numbers.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
135317 Homework ±è*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2542
135316 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 3
135315 What are the benefits of learning a second language? ¿¡*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2
135314 HOMEWORK: Please write a short paragraph about \"Is wearing... ¾Ù* ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1
135313 Do you enjoy cooking healthy meals? Why or why not? ±è*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1879
135312 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1881
135311 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1561
135310 homework ±è*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2078
135309 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2154
135308 How do you think transportation will change in the future? ¿À*Çö ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2151
135307 homework ÇÑ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1
135306 Homework À±*¼± ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2755
135305 the biggest challenge or struggle °í*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2771
135304 Discuss the importance of friendship in your life. Ȳ*Àº ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 3047
135303 Best known ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 0
135302 Beauty ÀÓ*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2252
135301 Describe the last concert that you went to ¹Ú*È£ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1910
135300 Can you name three jobs you can be good at? ±Ç*ÀÓ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 1
135299 greeting ±Ç*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2333
135298 Homelessness ¾ç*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-03-07 2358

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04