¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

homework 01.04

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÃÖ*Ç
2024-01-04 3994

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?


A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi, Keon!
Thank you so much for taking time in answering the question. Your ideas and opinions are on point. Keep it up! :)
~ T. Camille


~ Writing Task:
Please answer the question:
Do you think it is okay for collectors to buy and sell items for profit? Why or why not?



A few years ago, I was crazy about collecting shoes.
>> CORRECT!
Even, I waited for hours to raffle for buy I wanted shoes.
>>  I even waited for hours for the raffle to buy the shoes wanted.
Luckily, I won better than other people.
>> Luckily, I won the raffle.
I liked the collecting shoes the biggest reason is money.
>> I liked collecting shoes, and the biggest reason is money.
Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes ridiculously expensive.
>> Many people want get rare shoes, but these shoes are ridiculously expensive.
Because these shoes are not easy to get.
>> It's because these shoes are not easy to get.
So, many winning people doing profit from selling again the winning shoes and clothes to other people.
>> So, many people who won the raffle do profit from selling the items again to other people.
Anyway, I think it's OK for collectors to buy and sell items for profit.
>> CORRECT!
But, I've lost interest it reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.
>> But, I've lost interest in it, and the reason is that it's ridiculously expensive these days.

¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
138116 What do you spend most of your money on? Á¤*¾Æ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 3129
138115 Homework ±è*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2283
138114 How important is it for you to get the vacant position at the... È£*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138113 Is mental health more important than physical health? Çö* ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2285
138112 The Difficult thing about learning english ÀÌ*¼Ö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2906
138111 °úÁ¦ ¹Ú*ºó ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2416
138110 Homework ±Ç*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138109 Aspect of fate ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2439
138108 2024.06.26 ¾ç*À² ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138107 Do you think buffet restaurants are worth their price? Why or... ½Å*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 3294
138106 homework ÀÌ*¼÷ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2681
138105 What kind of roommate do you want to have ? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138104 eavesdrop ¹Î*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138103 Are you good at self-motivation? ¼Û*Áø ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 0
138102 What is the importance of finding your passion? ÀÌ*À± ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 3713
138101 Q) How does societal and cultural context influence perceptions... ÃÖ*¿µ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138100 June 24th homework ¾È*Èñ ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 3052
138099 Homework ±è*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 1
138098 Homework ·ù*¿ì ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 3017
138097 HOMEWORK FOR 06.25.2024 WRITING TASK: What do you do to save... ÀÓ*Áö ¿Ï·á 2024-06-26 2

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04