¹«·á ·¹º§Å×½ºÆ® ¹Þ°í °­»çÆò°¡ ³²±â¸é 1,OOO¿ø ÄíÆù Áï½Ã Àû¸³!

Ȥ½Ã »çÀÌÆ®¿¡¼± ãÁö ¸øÇÑ ±Ã±ÝÇÑ Á¡ÀÌ ÀÖÀ¸¼¼¿ä?
³²°ÜÁֽŠÀ̸ÞÀÏÀ» ÅëÇØ ´äº¯ µå¸®°Ú½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®ÀÇÇϽг»¿ëÀÌ ¹®ÀÚ·Î ¹ß¼ÛµÇ¿À´Ï
¿¬¶ôó¸¦ ³²°ÜÁÖ¼¼¿ä.
¾÷¹«½Ã°£ ¿ù~±Ý ¿ÀÀü9½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ6½Ã
(Á¡½É½Ã°£ ³·12½Ã~¿ÀÈÄ1½Ã)

¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇ

¿µ¾î ¸»Çϱâ¿Í ¾²±â¸¦ µ¿½Ã¿¡ Àâ´Â´Ù!

ÀڽŠÀÖ°Ô ¾µ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ¿µÀÛ¹®À» À§ÇØ ÆÄ¿öÀ×±Û¸®½¬ ¼ö¾÷À» ¼ö°­ÇϽôÂ
ȸ¿ø´Ôµé²² ¹«·á·Î Á¦°øÇص帮´Â ºÎ°¡ ¼­ºñ½º·Î, Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ ÀÚÀ¯ ÁÖÁ¦
¶Ç´Â °­»ç´ÔÀÌ ³»Áֽô °úÁ¦¸¦ ȸ¿ø´Ô²²¼­ ¿µ¾î·Î ÀÛ¼ºÇØÁֽøé,
´ã´ç °­»ç ´Ô²²¼­ ¡®¹®¹ý ¿À·ù ±³Á¤¡¯ °ú ¡®´õ ³ªÀº ¿µ¾î½Ä Ç¥Çö¡¯À¸·Î ±³Á¤ÇØÁÖ´Â
¼­ºñ½º ÀÔ´Ï´Ù.

The importance of working out

ÀÛ¼ºÀÚ: ÀÓ*Áø
2024-01-08 3884

ȸ¿ø´ÔÀÇ ¿µÀÛ¹®

The reason why I continue working out is some visible effects that I can check fastly.
Of course, It is really hassle to go to gym while I give up doing other hobbies at the same time.
However, after finishing a one hours of working out, I always feel fresh and get proud by myself.
Additionally, my physical and mental condition will be definetely improved by sleeping well.
The older we are, the more we need to work out because of our basic strength.

°­»ç´ÔÀÇ Ã·»è±³Á¤ ³»¿ë

Hi Yu Jin! I totally agree! Working out becomes even more important as we age. I love your dedication to staying fit – it's truly inspiring! Keep it up! 
~~T. Jenna

The reason why I continue working out is some visible effects that I can check fastly.
>>The reason why I continue working out is some visible effects that I can check quickly. 
or
>>What motivates me to keep working out are the tangible results I get.
Of course, It is really hassle to go to gym while I give up doing other hobbies at the same time.
>>Of course, it is really a hassle to go to the gym while I give up doing other hobbies at the same time.
However, after finishing a one hours of working out, I always feel fresh and get proud by myself.
>>However, after finishing a one-hour workout, I always feel fresh and get proud of myself.
Additionally, my physical and mental condition will be definetely improved by sleeping well.
>>Additionally, my physical and mental condition will definitely be improved by sleeping well.
The older we are, the more we need to work out because of our basic strength.
Correct, or
>>The older we become, the more we need to work out to maintain our basic strength.
¹øÈ£ Á¦¸ñ ±Û¾´ÀÌ °ø°³ »óÅ µî·ÏÀÏ Á¶È¸¼ö
132829 thank you ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2
132828 Homework 2 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 4142
132827 Can you tell me the concept of tourism? Á¤*ȯ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 2834
132826 I\'d appreciate it if you could correct it quickly. ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 6
132825 I\'d appreciate it if you could correct it quickly. ¼Û*Çö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 6
132824 Do you keep a journal or diary? ±Ç*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 3394
132823 Homework 1 ±Ç*Å ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 3383
132822 Survey ±Ç*Á¤ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1
132821 Letter ¹Ú*ÁØ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 1
132820 homework_231128 ÇÑ*·Ï ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 0
132819 way to have positive mind ÀÌ*¹Ì ¿Ï·á 2023-11-29 5129
132818 The convenience store ÀÌ*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3199
132817 How the transportation is friendly °­*À² ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132816 homework ¾È*¿¬ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3820
132815 What¡¯s your view on street art? Does it make the environment... Á¶*Áö ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 0
132814 Would you rather be big like an elephant or small like a mouse?... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3275
132813 A Visit to the Park: Describe a visit to a park. What did you do... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3158
132812 What does it mean when you say, \"We are the architects of our... ÀÌ*ºó ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 3345
132811 Have you ever hlped anyone? If yes, write about it. If not, then... ¿À*Çõ ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1
132810 Do you think leaders of the country must consider historical... ±è*±Ô ¿Ï·á 2023-11-28 1

HOW TO USE IT?

[¸¶ÀÌÆäÀÌÁö > ¼ö¾÷ ³»¿ë º¸±â > ÇнÀ ͏°´õ > ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ ¹öư Ŭ¸¯]

¼ö¾÷ Ƚ¼ö¸¸Å­ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀÌ »ý¼ºµÇ¸ç,
Áö³­ ³¯Â¥¿¡µµ °Ô½Ã ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

ÁÖ5ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 20ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ3ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 12ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
ÁÖ2ȸ ¼ö¾÷ : ¿ù 08ȸ ÀÌ¿ë °¡´É
01
±³Á¤ ³»¿ëÀº ÃÖ´ë 1,000byte±îÁö ¿Ã¸± ¼ö ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.

÷ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ¿øÈ°ÇÑ Ã·»èÀ» À§ÇÑ Âü°íÀÚ·á·Î »ç¿ëµÉ »Ó,
ÆÄÀÏ¿¡ ´ëÇÑ Ã·»èÀº ºÒ°¡´É ÇÕ´Ï´Ù.

¾÷·Îµå °¡´ÉÇÑ Ã·ºÎ ÆÄÀÏÀº ÃÖ´ë 2mb±îÁöÀ̸ç,
÷ºÎ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â ÆÄÀÏ Çü½ÄÀº ´ÙÀ½°ú °°½À´Ï´Ù.

¹®¼­ - PDF, TXT, DOCX,
À̹ÌÁö - JPEG, PNG, GIF
02
Àü¹® ºÐ¾ß¸¦ Á¦¿ÜÇÑ È¸¿ø´ÔÀÌ Á÷Á¢ ÀÛ¼ºÇÑ ±Û¸¸
÷»èÀÌ °¡´ÉÇϸç,

¿Ã·ÁÁֽбÛÀÇ °­»ç´Ô ÷»èÀº 24½Ã°£ À̳»¿¡
¿Ï·á µÇ´Â °ÍÀ» ¿øÄ¢À¸·Î Çϰí ÀÖ½À´Ï´Ù.
03
ÇÏ·ç °Ô½Ã °¡´ÉÇÑ ±ÛÀº 3ȸ±îÁö À̸ç,
Á¾·áµÈ ¼ö¾÷ÀÇ ¿µÀÛ±³Á¤ °Ô½ÃÆÇÀº
ÀÌ¿ëÀÌ ¾î·Á¿î Á¡ ¾çÇØ ºÎŹ µå¸³´Ï´Ù.
04